Last Post Wins (Forum Fatality Edition)

[Regorn]

It's now an Orc n Gnome thread.

"That was really rude!"

You have suffered Justice. 
4.5/5 HP remains.

Attack him back! 
He is at 1/2 HP

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

*Kronnor gathers every bit of saliva he has from the back of his throat and aims a mega-huge-deadly spit towards the paladin's head.*
"I'll show you rude!"
Attack roll -> 13 (on a D20)

[Regorn]

We return once again to Slow motion, Kronnor wonders if this will become a thing, the narrator guarantees that he will use it less in the future.

The Paladin turns his head around, he spots the huge spit coming at him, he roars, Nooooooooooooo!, it impacts on his face, right under his left eye, it's splash damage hits most of his face. 
He falls to the ground, hitting his head on a big rock.

Dun dun dun du du du!
You gain 5 xp, 1 Paladin Hammer
Health at 4.5/5

Your still at the Crossroad.
Vendor?
Visit Shaman?
Go out and Hunt?
Leave for Ratchet, Whailing Cavern, Ashenvale

[Rashka]

*puts OnG glasses on*

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Let's go to the vendor. Maybe I find something better than a paladin hammer.

[Regorn]

"Me got stuff!"

Sell Paladin Hammer /50 Silver

Buy Generic Axe (+1 to attack roll) /40 silver
Buy Epix Axe (+3 to attack roll, +0.5 Damage on hit) /3 Gold
Buy Iron Shield (+1 Defense Roll) /30 Silver

Buy Bread (heal 1) /50 Copper


You have... 0 Copper, 0 Silver, 0 Gold.

You do not have skill in Hammers, so it offers no bonus.

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Try to haggle for a better price by selling the paladin hammer.
"This is a strong weapon wielded by important human. I'll sell it to you for 1g50s."
*Looks into the vendor's eyes, keeping a straight serious face.*

[Regorn]

"Hmmmmm..."
The Orc Vendor is in deep though.

"75 Silver. I give you 75.
And that's generous."

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

*Kronnor keeps his straight serious face.*
"1 gold and I'll also let you keep that rock you call head."

[Regorn]

"...Guards!"

"Zug zug?" "Dabu!"  "Zug zug!"

There is clear nose of grunts running around outside, fortunately, they are poorly trained, they are coming.

The Vendor have picked up the Epic Axe from behind his counter.

Make a run for it.
Steal something then run.
Knock out the Vendor (Vendor is none-combat class, easy to fight, knock out on 5+)
Stand by the Door to sneak attack the first Grunt coming in.
Other?

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

*Kronnor sighs and rolls his eyes before sending a punch directly at the vendors face.*
Attack roll -> 17

[Regorn]

The Vendor is lying behind the counter, unconscious.

One of the Grunt peaks inside
"Oi, what be going in here den? Ya yelled?"

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

*Turns around looking at the guard.*
"Yes, I gave this vendor this paladin hammer and a gold coin in exchange for the axe he was holding, but when he had to give me the axe he attacked me instead. I managed to defend myself before he could do anything. Now, I'll just take what's mine and be on my way."

[Regorn]

"uhhhhh... Zug Zug!"

(Be warned! Such simply trick might not work on smarter guards!)

You now have...
Epic Axe!
+3 on attack, +0.5 damage.

Your in The Crossroad.

Visit Shaman?
Go out and Hunt?
Leave for Ratchet, Whailing Cavern, Ashenvale
Other?

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Staying too much in the Crossroads might not be a good idea. Head out towards Ratchet.