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The calling of the ancestor

Started by Norv, December 20, 2008, 06:09:56 PM

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Norv

Roaming around these reddish mountains brings peace to me. Yes, our being also may need peace, though we live more in an immaterial plan now, which is beyond trivial troubles of the material world. But of late, I like to roam more around Durotar, where the remains of my old clan reside.

For I am Zirthea, the Lost Seer, former Thur’Ruk of the Redblade Clan, honored today by the orcs of the Red Blade as they honor their ancestors. Or almost, as they don’t really know about me yet. With the exception of the young one.

As I walk around, memories come to mind.
I remember my Rite of Vision, when my Real Name and my Path were revealed to me and to the clan. They were all so surprised! Normally, two wolf-spirits should appear, each embodying a different aspect, to grant the initiate the blessing. And their aspects give him his name and role. It has always been that way: one spirit stands for the initiate, his aspect revealing the initiate’s deepest ...weakness perhaps, his personal trap or difficulty, as an individual. And the other, stands for the pack, revealing the initiate’s true strength as a wolf of the pack, his role or what he can truly bring to the clan. They are different aspects, and different we expect them to be. But to everybody’s surprise, including mine at the time, mine were twins: the Lust for Knowledge and the Path of the Seer.
I mean, what is the difference?
The noble endeavours of research and pursuit of knowledge, the endless fight for genuine opportunities to explore, as well as the quiet contemplation of the world’s true meanings, they are all the Path of the Seer, but of course they all require personal devotion to the values of knowledge in itself, of pure knowledge. And, while for some of those chosen to walk the Path of the Seer, this devotion existed, yes, but as secondary trait of their personality, for me, it was proven to be the essential trait of my true being.
However I still don’t like they called it "lust", like it was something vicious, when for the love of all that is pure, all there is to it is that my thirst for knowledge is true to itself no matter what! 
Yes, no matter what. Don’t give me feeble theories about "knowing where to stop" and that kind of thing. There is no stop in the genuine search for knowledge, for those to which it is both their innermost need and their true path.
All that proves that I am better suited for the Path than the others, I knew it that day, and I have done my best to improve myself. Some couldn’t face the truth, like the old grumpy Mruthgor. He even didn’t want me to teach in the clan! something any Thur’Ruk had always had the right and duty to. He said that I am unable to choose what truths can be told and what should not. He said that the young minds could be lead to wrong paths when told things they cannot handle. I can somehow understand that is possible, but it’s a risk we have to take, and only the strong will survive.

-----------------------------------------------

Ah, there he is, the young one. He should be ready today, he almost was, last time.

As my mind meddles with his, I can feel a strong barrier somewhere though. What is happening? He was making a ritual, yes. But I would have expected him to be even more welcoming, for that.

Norviskrall feels the spirit approaching and unwillingly raises his arms to his head as in a futile attempt to protection. "You, always you! I called the others, but they never come anymore, they all stopped, it is always you now, always you!"

I can hear the scream in my mind, and as it fades, I realize once more that Norv and I are meant to share the same destiny. Long ago, for me as well, the voices had become rarer, and then had fully stopped. As I was walking further on my Path, as I was pursuing alone my questions, finding and revealing truths to my clan, any truths, truths their quite limited minds could not always stand … the voices ceased. I remained alone with my tasks, and I was glad to be so. It meant more time for myself, as sometimes I had had to try to convince them of what I was doing. Now I could simply continue to whatever purpose I had in mind.
But perhaps always alone is not such a great thing.  If only it would be possible to share your way with someone like-minded, that would be worth pushing for. But until recently, I didn’t find anyone. I was not much around the tribe though. But when I saw the new Thur’Ruk of the Red Blades, and his thirst, his unending irresistible thirst for the same pure knowledge that I pursue, this lust with so many faces, that I have experienced myself as well, then I finally knew.

Forget about the others, you can come with me, away from the tribe, away from any trivial concerns, and we will share all that our Path, the purest of Paths, can offer.

I can hear his refusal though I don’t understand where it comes from.

"I belong to my tribe".


Tribe? Perhaps, but this is no reason to use only a fraction of your potential, as long as …

But there is more in his mind, Osan, Bugor, what? He told them about me?! Now that is amusing! The most limited-minded of them, he couldn’t have made a worse choice! Why…
As I start the question, I can feel the answer. Those orcs, so unlikely to understand his predicament, could not be tempted themselves, instead could actually open him a different view, that will indirectly help him resist… Resist me?!

That is so childish. So he’s not ready yet. When he will, he will see that there is no question of him resisting me, I am his true way, you can only delay admitting it, never truly avoid it. So be it then. I will continue to explain to him. Show him the way. Help him prepare.

"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."

Norv

#1
Norv wants to take the challenge of the Rite of Vision, even though that’s normally done by fresh candidates to be Thur’Ruk, while he has his rank already. I cannot blame him, just it seems so futile. He can only get the same result as I did, I’m so certain of it, and I can feel he thinks the same. At least that, he accepted: that the lust for knowledge is an aspect that defines himself as well. It's his Path as well, I'm sure.

Though you have betrayed it on several occasions! I let my words enter his mind and I can feel his guilt. He knows he did, sure he knows.
Back when the tribe was garrisoned in Arathi, you already pursued the way, you named it “way of the historian”, still, you have acted against it: you have refused at some point, to go search more orcs, to have them talk, to uncover more about events in the past of the tribe.
“Yes, I have refused. I had to! Because I knew and saw enough to realize that any more meddling with those events will only hurt more orcs even today. I saw it happening before my eyes!”
He means the fight between Gruulg and Djangor. They were blabbing for hours, one about how others betrayed the tribe and the other about how good they were but orcs are stoopid. Both these silly orcs kept yapping each “their” truth until they were this close to fight to the death! I have troubles understanding Norv's problem though, as there simply isn’t any in my mind: the "way of the historian", like any Seer would follow, is to stay aside and watch all sides of a story, the truth may even appear two-fold, his duty is to simply contemplate it in all its complexity. No matter what steps were necessary to it and what it may bring once achieved...
“No! I am not going to stay aside and simply watch a true orc brought to fighting to the death, even less ever provoking it in some way!”
Oh, not again…I can feel the strength of his conviction that Gruulg is a “true orc”. What, the other was “false” like a troll undercover or what?! “True orc”! I hate it when you use words without their clear, rational meaning, instead, with some kind of empathically accessible meaning that one should “grasp” rather than rationally understand.
I didn’t mean to transmit him this question, but it seems he received it as I can hear an answer in my mind, one I don’t fully understand:
“It is simple, Zirthea: a tribe is not kept together only by a brilliant leader or another, rather, perhaps even more so, it is based on orcs that are always there, almost unheard, almost unknown, but always there”.
Right! Unheard indeed, what can you hear from an orc that barely knows how to utter “food”, “mead” and “tribe”?! It’s the celebration of ignorance! But let’s forget this, it makes me nervous, it’s not the first time when I know that I’m right, surely so! but still, I feel uneasy, like there is something there that escapes my grasp, and I know I have searched again and again and I still didn’t find any rational explanation for it. For the love of all that is pure, I so hate these cases!

Instead…
Norv, I’d still like to understand why exactly you have decided to accept the position of Thur’Ruk when Kozgugore offered it to you, even though you had already broken the vow to our Path, or "way of the historian" as you named it, when he did so.
The shame that spreads in his mind is almost unbearable. But I don’t care! I want to know! I check his mind, he had second thoughts all day back then, yes.
Actually, I think he must have known that breaking his vow was just a mistake, stopping his research because of some abstract yapping about “the tribe” and “true orcs” was just a mistake, but I want him to admit it now! He must have known that sooner or later he will recover from it, and do better next time, follow his true Path properly.
Say it, Norv. I’m not blaming you, I find it normal to accept a position when you do know that, even though you sometimes make mistakes, like any orc might, it is still your true Path and you can still follow it properly.
“...It was not a mistake.
Or, it is still the only thing I should have done, and I would do the same again…
I might have wanted more for myself, yes, but for Grom’s sake!... Did you not see the consequences of simple questions?! Did you not see they almost killed each other?! Then, other orcs were so sad, yet others so nervous! One cannot purposely pursue that!”


… I’m not listening anymore. A sudden memory of Mruthgor echoes in my mind:
Not any Seer should also be considered a Lorekeeper. Some are genuinely more interested in pursuing knowledge for the sake of it and for their own pleasure, while others bend it when necessary, to the needs they serve, to the orcs they serve.
Don’t ye think, Zirthea?

The old grumpy orc was provoking me, while making his theories, like: "Lorekeeping is keeping safe the Lore of a Pack. Safe, and Pack, and Lore, all matter."
But I don’t know why that appeared in my mind, as it has nothing to do with the subject… Unless Norv is trying in his own way to make theories about knowledge “subordinated” to “higher” purposes and all that meaningless yapping.

But, Norv! I’m not saying the whatever “good of the tribe” is not a worthy purpose, sure it is! But you have to first know what the alternatives, truly, and fully, are, before you choose one, one that is, not just seems, more beneficial! Isn’t that so? Sure it must be, it’s so obvious.

“It is, Zirthea, it is … but in reality, the alternatives are not always available “truly” and “fully”, you can’t always know everything before you need to act! Moreover, the attempt to know “truly” and “fully” require usually that you DO some thing, is an act in itself, one that brings changes, one that can hurt or help, one that may shape the future. An orc has to act, without knowing beforehand every answer. Only by risking it.

And when doing so, it is guidelines that matter, that protect the way to knowledge, even make it possible, therefore they come first… it is there where you need to draw the line, Zirthea, that is all, nothing more “limitative” than that, just that. ”


…I listen and I listen and I don’t recognize Norv anymore. What is wrong with him, I can’t fathom! or do I...

Did you meet Claws lately?

Argh! Now this thought, I really shouldn’t have shared it with him, but he caught it, and then, like other times, the connection of our minds broke. Damn… it looks like he’s unable, or very, very unwilling, to share anything about her with me. The mere thought of her brings him back to the material plane. Ehm, nevermind now, it’s late, he should sleep, he still needs that, and I should think about tonight.
"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."

Norv

#2
Sometimes he’s in other planes so deeply, that for the material plane all he has left are little bits of attention every now and then. Other times though, he’s so focused on them! Especially when Claws is around. It’s like she keeps him hanging there, by her mere presence or my ancestors know what! But I’m tired of waiting, tired of this switching back and forth, tired of having him come, then escape, then again… He even used what he calls … what was it, “arcane barriers”, or something of the kind, anyway some repulsive magics that I’ve never seen before. It was hard to approach him then, but to be honest, I didn’t even want to anymore! That’s not our way! Blasphemy! I had to stay apart from him for days, when he did that.
Now that was really too much.

Do your puny ritual and that will be the end of it!
"Yes, it will. One way or the other."

I can see, not clearly, but I can see he believes he will “get rid” of me. Now I’m insulted, what the …?! He can’t reject me as long as he knows very well that we’re alike, as long as he is so thrilled by the journeys I’m taking him in! Hmm, not so thrilled anymore lately indeed, he tries to remain in the material plane more than ever, I’m not sure why would anybody really want that.
Ah, but he believes there is something wrong with our journeys because they’re empty, that is, devoid of life, of interaction with other spirits. It’s like seeing things happening, in front of your eyes, like a show played by others, instead of being something you are part of. Yeah, it surprised me too when it all started… it only started to be this way, after Mruthgor’s death.
I had come back in our village, when I heard he was dead. Wanted to see it, wanted to see if the spirits will grant him a place among them, after all he had done to me and others. Though I was ready to forgive him, if he only would have left a letter or some sign he would ask for forgiveness.
I entered his hut by the back door, to avoid facing yet the others. But instead of a letter, I saw it immediately. The mask. I always wondered what it would be like… I always wanted to know, ah this blasted wish, I had to do this! Some were saying it makes you better, for it allows you to improve your best abilities. Others were whispering that it rather transforms them, or you, or … I don’t know. I had to know!
I put it on, and went away, to never come back. It was much later that I found out generations after were wondering how the mask was lost… It wasn’t lost, it was with me, they didn’t realize that, it was with me until the day I joined the spirits. I mean, I didn’t really joined the spirits, I never commune with them, as I said, it’s always devoid of other spirits’ presence, but I don’t need them.
I only need myself and my …
Damn! Damn! I shared these memories with him?! I had a feeling I shouldn’t, not until he’s fully with me, damn! Now it’s done.

Norvis froze as the images from long ago were passing before his eyes, and Zirthea’s thoughts finally explained some things that were never known for sure… or was it two times that the mask was lost during the history? Ah, nevermind now.

"You lied to me."

I can hear his words in my mind, and try to counter them, but it doesn't work.

"You lied to me. You did not want me because you believed in me and my Path. You wanted me because the mask made you search for more orcs to fall to its influence."
No! I really want someone with me! I don’t want to be alone anymore!
"Perhaps. But you lied. The thirst … was not your thirst. The lust … was not your own.
What would have been next? Would you have me search for the mask?!"

Ah, he can see he’s right if I don’t control … too late, he saw it. And suddenly, stubbornly, he takes out of his bag a couple of envelopes, and puts them down in front of him, in a little whole in the ground he digs with his paw. Some kalimag words come out of his mouth though I don’t understand them, I’m starting to lose it, what is happening?! Then the connection of minds broke and I see him taking his orc shape again.
It was not supposed to happen this way.
But still, when he does his Rite of Vision, when the result will be identical to mine, he will have to admit that no matter what the legend made him think about the mask issues (and it's not true! it's only their puny fears!) he still should accept his Path as it is. Though I wonder what use would it be now...
"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."

Claws

Nice Norvis keep them coming.

((Every body is writhing works of literature now)) ;)
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Kozgugore

#4
(( Ooh, interesting stuff! Curious how this will unfold. Looks goodie.

Edit: Yes, very interesting sponge too! *Grumble* ))
Kozgugore Feraleye - Chieftain of the Red Blade

Gruulg

really naisly written norvi, especially from the spirits perspective is something I really liked.Write on!^^

Norv

#6
(( Part two posted. You didn't think they don't fight anymore, Norv and Zirthea, did you?... Posted one of their fights, for fun! ))
"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."

Norv

(( Last part posted. Hope you like it, though it's written very in a hurry, heh, as I completely changed my mind about the story in the last minute. *headdesk* ))
"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."

Claws

DUN-DUN-DAAAAAAA. (Suspense music  ;)  )

(Nice is that the end of Norvis as we know him)?  :o
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Norv

Quote from: Claws on February 19, 2009, 10:16:55 AM
(Nice is that the end of Norvis as we know him)? 

(( Not all but I suppose some things will have to change ))
"If it ain't broke, I can fix it!
... Oh wait."