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Funny stuff

Started by Kozgugore, December 10, 2007, 09:59:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Groshnok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnfhS-ajKqg

Subtitles in the annotations if needed, this is probably the best prank call I've ever heard.

Therak


Snarky answers are the best
Think, assess, act.

Raythar


Groshnok

It's so silly it's brilliant  ;D 


Bamm


Rashka

#665
Because I found this hillarious.


For full sieze of chat.
http://i.imgur.com/UhFQICs.jpg
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Claws

There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell.
When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To the first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alcohol and being drunk " so the devil showed the man to a room full of alcohol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of gorgeous naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! I’m high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A weed you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".

100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.

The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM fruit punch! IM fruit punch!”

Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door.

Sitting in the middle of all the weed, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he said: "hey man, got a light?"




After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night.
Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"
"Not even once!" exclaimed Ole, "have you been unfaithful to me Lena?"
"Well, er, yes - but only three times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.
"Hmmm, three times?" questioned Ole. "That's not so bad. Do you remember those three times? Can you tell me when?"
"Well, Ole, do you remember when you wanted to build the store and you had a hard time getting approval from the City Council?" asked Lena. "That was the first time."
"And, do you remember when you wanted to build an addition, but had to get the okay from the building inspector?" she said. "That was the second time."
"OK, Lena, when was the third time?" queried Ole?
"The third time was" Lena paused.
"Do you remember when you were running for President of the Housing Society and you needed 125 votes?"
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Claws

A local business was looking for office help.
They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED”.
Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.
(Just like the Red Blades)

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.
He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.
The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least.
However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you.
The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter.
He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer.
The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.
By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities.
However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said,
"Meow."
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Regorn

My very poor joke must be immortalized on this forum I have come to realize

Never drink on your job, I knew one who did.
In Ogrimmar smith were hammering on the anvils, one orc was very drunk and struck his own hand with a hammer!
"No worries" He said, for he was part of the  Shattered Hand Clan!
"Names does not matter, only who you are" - An old Friend from past, Thar'grash Thunderfury

Mokhtar

This has to be funny for someone! I traveled for 25 hours to get home to DK from my small vacation ...in Amsterdam.

I call it.. Germany strikes (back!)

I was planning on grabbing a series of trains from Amsterdam central station at 07.01 in the morning and arrive home at around 17.00, enough time to get home and catch the Om'riggor event and travelling.

Well, firstly it's so early I must bicycle to another station than intended. Done.
Once on the train for Osnabrueck in Germany, it stops in the first town across the border. Another train waits there. I go on it and is told to get out in "Rheine". Easy! Except the advice was faulty. I got out and learned I should have stayed! All passengers were driven in taxi to Hannover. I'm now 2 hours late. That's alright.

From Hannover to Hamburg after waiting an hour and driving for another, the conductor tells me no more ferries go today! So.. I'm stuck? I'm in Hamburg and its 16.00. From the schedule of my tickets I know it takes four hours to get from Hamburg to my place. 16.00+4 = 20.00, so I might just make it. And luck strikes!
Info lady at the station tells me there's a bus just outside going for Denmark in ten minutes! What luck!
...yeah, that was false info too. Speaking to another info lady she said there were no busses going before 20.45, which at the time ironically makes four hours. Well, won't make it for the event. Ah well.

Spending 4 hours in Hamburg.. dumdidum.. and the bus comes. We're 100+ Danes standing there. Seeing I'm late anyway, I wait for the promised second and third bus.. which never show! One hour and 15 minutes later we get taxies. From there it all flows well. Too well. Driver says he cannot make a stop since we're driving on the highway, so I see myself blasting past my own house basically, because he didn't want to drive up the ramp and down again to the highway. Where are we headed? The capital! I live 80 kilometers from there..

Right, to make it worse, he decides he wants to set every other passenger off on the highway ramps now all of a sudden. Leaving me in the city at 03.00 in the morning.  He didn't even want to take me back as he left for Germany again. So.. more waiting! First train leaves at 04.40. Yay, got home at 6.20.

So.. that's a 25 hour trip, Amsterdam-Denmark.

And to top it off; a dentist appointment at 09.00.

Tadaa

Therak

Ouch... That reminds me of why I try to fly most of the time...
On the upside, you did get home!
Think, assess, act.

Rashka

That's some serious traveling right there.
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar


Mokhtar

So Kogra and Mokh'tar had a little "fun" in the smithy..






Mokhtar

#674
Okay, this beat all the first three. Sorry for spam

Spoiler: show