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Funny stuff

Started by Kozgugore, December 10, 2007, 09:59:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Griesh

Poem from Official DB forums.


I'm rubbing off my eyeliner
I'm pulling down my clothes
I'm walking in your room
I'm coming really close
I'm breathing in your ear
the things you shouldnt fear
I'm gently stroke your hair
my heart is beating hard
I'm here just to tell
that you are a real 'tard

Claws

Quote from: Griesh on January 21, 2008, 05:49:26 AM
Poem from Official DB forums.


I'm rubbing off my eyeliner
I'm pulling down my clothes
I'm walking in your room
I'm coming really close
I'm breathing in your ear
the things you shouldnt fear
I'm gently stroke your hair
my heart is beating hard
I'm here just to tell
that you are a real 'tard


ERRR?? :-\
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Griesh

*pats*  Im sure you'll get it sooner or later.

Claws

#48
There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.


To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.


The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".


100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.

The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM fruitpunch! IM fruitpunch!".

Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door.

Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked :

"hey man, got a light?"




After years of marriage, Ole and Lena found themselves in bed one night. Lena leaned over to Ole and said, "Ole, have you ever been unfaithful during all our years of marriage?"

"Not even once!" exclaimed Ole. "Lena, have you ever been unfaithful?"

"Well, er, yes - but only three times," she admitted somewhat embarrassed.

"Hmmm, three times?" questioned Ole. "That's not so bad. Do you remember those three times? Can you tell me when?"

"Well, Ole, do you remember when you wanted to build the store and you had a hard time getting approval from the City Council?" asked Lena. "That was the first time."

"And, do you remember when you wanted to build an addition, but had to get the okay from the building inspector?" she asked. "That was the second time."

"OK, Lena, when was the third time?" queried Ole?

"The third time was " Lena paused. "Do you remember when you were running for President of the Housing Society and you needed 125 votes?"





A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."




Medical Terminology

Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located ~Censored~
Vein -- Conceited
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Moggrash

That sounds more like heaven then hell.  ::)
The Hat-Lord

Ugluhk

Our master of stories has striked again! a laugh indeed, except that I'm not really good at medical terms :( but hey! I learned a few new ones at least! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Once a pup, always a pup :'(
Offical BUCKET HEAD!
Ugleh, Zhurd, Nose and now Gorback

Rehbande

Aaahahahahaa! Loved the medical terms!  ;D ;D


Ugluhk

#53
some really funny stuff is usually when Claws Akesha or Azuril Vlog moderate other peoples posts :) never seen anyone else to do that, at least not in a fun way... except for the short period of time Nergul was high Blade :P

Should not be allowed i say. ::) ;)
Once a pup, always a pup :'(
Offical BUCKET HEAD!
Ugleh, Zhurd, Nose and now Gorback

Griesh

Ye might put lines on words, but you'll never ever win the little print!

Vlog Ironblood

#55
Quote from: Griesh on February 01, 2008, 12:36:11 AM
Ye might put lines on words, but you'll never ever win the little print!

some really funny stuff is usually when Claws Akesha or Azuril Vlog moderate other peoples posts  never seen anyone else to do that, at least not in a fun way... except for the short period of time Nergul was high Blade 

Should not be allowed i say.   

« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 04:39:15 PM by Claws » 

P.s Claws, stop it carry on your the best.
High Blade

Griesh

Exactly.  Bad Mod, BAD MOD!

Akesha

#57
Quote from: Vlog Ironblood on February 01, 2008, 04:54:03 PM
Quote from: Griesh on February 01, 2008, 12:36:11 AM
Ye might put lines on words, but you'll never ever win the little print!

some really funny stuff is usually when Claws Akesha or Azuril Vlog moderate other peoples posts  never seen anyone else to do that, at least not in a fun way... except for the short period of time Nergul was high Blade 

Should not be allowed i say.   

« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 04:39:15 PM by Claws » 

P.s Claws, stop it.

Oi! I never always mess with people's posts.... delete then occationally (if they're offensive), but never always edit them.
And then I change the name on the edit labbel

Ugluhk

The mods have stricken again! and we got a renegade mod also! Kozzie! fear them! Worship them! love them!
*starts to chant prayers and hymns to the moderators' honor*
Once a pup, always a pup :'(
Offical BUCKET HEAD!
Ugleh, Zhurd, Nose and now Gorback

Claws

http://forums.wow-europe.com/thread.html;jsessionid=EC9081F7F72ECF3D5E37685473579FB4.app09_01?topicId=293110187&sid=1


Ahh yes right check out his picture.
Think it is time to give up WOW.

Oh, and frankly, try as I might, I'm no match for Azuril's editing skills.
True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.