The plains lay silent, wrapped in a cover of night under a starry sky.
A wind was blowing in across the land, rustling the trees around the scattered oasis, a wind that for once wasn't filled with heat and dust but instead carried faint traces of the spring that was breaking in the more fertile lands to the south.
On the topmost level of the watchtower overlooking the Crossroads, Atar'ka exhaled and watched the pale cloud of smoke drift away northwards on the wind. This was the fifth night that she had come here since the great and final battle with the usurper Worza, now that she had the time and more so the freedom to do so at will. The tower no longer held a captive orc and her guards nor was it at risk to be the target of unnatural infiltration attempts, which finally made it hers again to use as a place to sort out her thoughts. And ancestors knew there was enough of those for her liking...
The clan's month-long meddling in the kolkar clans' civil war had been a welcome distraction, something to focus her attention on and leave the thinking for later. After all, there is no time to let yourself sink into thoughts when you have pressing things such as flailing hooves or thrusting spear-tips to keep your focus on.
Pushing them aside did not make the questions and doubts disappear however, which by now had piled up to form a loosely balanced heap in her mind. Trying to remove any one pebble from the pile threatened to upset the tenuous balance and set it all tumbling down to bury her unless she found the right one to remove first. In short, she had no ancestors-damned idea where to begin, and so she found herself coming back up to the tower for another bout with her own thoughts again and again.
Having something to focus on helped with the thinking, even if the small smouldering glow from the rolled-up leaves pinched in her hand was far from what she would have prefered. Nothing was as good for staring into as flames or hot coals, but setting a campfire at the top of a watchtower was simply not an option.
She would have to find at least some answer soon though, sort out her mind, or a sneaking suspicion told her that the accursed pile would collapse all on its own regardless. But being stuck in indecisiveness frustrated her, and the frustration was getting in the way of sorting out her mind. She felt trapped, which did nothing to help matters.
Leaning forward to look down at the sleeping outpost and exhale at least some of the frustration in a sigh-like snarl, she made a decision.
It was time to look for answers outside her own skull for once.
Perhaps not the most informative or riveting read, since I find it difficult to avoid being vague about details and exact reasons when writing about on-going things for whatever reason, even in inner monologue :S Perhaps time for a flashback-piece...
I mostly wrote this piece as a way to help myself figure out a thought-process that I'm currently trying to navigate Atar'ka through, but as has often been said before: "More stories!" so I uploaded it.
I'm still struggling with increasing the overall length of what I write, but for what its worth I'd be happy for any and all feedback!
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