Last Post Wins (Forum Fatality Edition)

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Allies: 59
Enemies: 85
Can't wait to see what those rolls mean. xD

[Regorn]

59 ->  Dem 'nid squigs (Tyranids)

85 -> Spiky 'umies an' stuff loik dat (Chaos)

Now lissen up ya gits! Dem 'nids is a 'ard fight! We wanna be ready befo' we go krump them, got it!?

But dem Spiky boys now deyer iz a good fight day is hard like spoice marines but dem got daemon too! we iz gonna kill so many of dem deamons we all gonna be called Daemon-Killa!

Last rolls now boyz!

We got lotsa boyz in our klan, but wot've we got more of dan otha klans? (d10)
Wot's da biggest, most aweshum thing we've eva' looted? (d100) (on 100, roll 2 more times)
And Wot did ya do wit it? (d10)

[Lars]

We got lotsa 3 in o' klan!
An the biggest loot we evah got was a 73 !
Wat we did wit it? We did 9 !

[Regorn]

3 -> Shoota Boyz

73 -> One o' dem tyr-oo-nid big squigz

9 -> Made some 'uge piles of it

We got shootaz so many shootaz! Dakka DAKKA DAKKA! WAAAAAGH! All dem spiky boyz ar' nothing but holes! HAHAHAHA! now den' aiming, wot's dat?

We did beat one of dem big nid's 'uge it was! bigga than da biggaz squigz ya ever seen!  
We ate it. Made it huge 'piles'! Har har har! Very tasty with squigz sauce!

Now, what we call da Klan?
Names Suggestoons!

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Every Lootz Iz Huntah Lootz?

[Lars]

Klan Browner Dan Black!

Or for a more serious one.

Klan Squish Dem Spiky Stuff!

(However, as a hunter I have to support Kronnor's suggestion)

[Regorn]

Dis here be Klan Every Lootz iz Huntah Lootz!

We iz tradishunal Orks, we ain't need no Tanka or roka lancha or stompaz, all we need iz Shootas! 
N' we 'Ard too! Ya think ya can just walk up to uz and Krump us?! HA! We Krump ya back!

We had a Meckboy once, he found one o' dem 'umie factora plana, he krumped em all, then he made factora maka shootaz, now we got shootaz for dayz! DAYZ! HAHAHAHAHA! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!

Den, we wunder off and find dat 'nid swarm, they send da biggas squidz I eva seen!
We shoot it, then we ate it! 'Nid burga!

But dem spiky boyz not like what we did, someting 'bout scheaming failure or dat. Of course day fail! Den ain't Orks! KRUMP EM! SHOOTA THEM!

But we want moar 'Nid burga! Den make a good meal dat iz! Get ya shootaz ready, when Spiky Boyz all ded and da daemons all ded too, we feast again! Hahahahah! WAAAAAAAGH!

And dis here be Da Klan, we Shoota ya but don't ya think we be softie like 'umies, we still krump ya too!

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

WAAAAGGGHH!!!
This is awesome. We need more of these stuff. Let's do Necron next.

[Regorn]

Status: Awakening
...
Dynasty Awakening
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Diagnostic of system: Activate
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Check History: Activate
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Original Side in the Necrontyr Secession Wars (d10)

[Lars]

Original side: 1

[Regorn]

1 -> (Unification) Fought under the command of the Triarch and the Silent King.

Status: Loyalist
...
Check History: Proceed
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C’Tan fought alongside before betraying during the War in Heaven (d10)

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

D10 roll -> 10

[Regorn]

10 -> Another of forgotten name.

Error. 
Error.
...
Name lost. 
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Memory Corrupted.
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Alert. Hostile detected.
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Defend Tomb World.
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Most Hated Nemesis (d10)

[Wornag (Kronnor)]

Our most hated nemesis would be a 3 roll on a D10.

[Regorn]

3 -> The Old Ones themselves and now their chosen children the Eldar

Eldar detected.
Deploy forces.
...
Kill.
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Kill them all.
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Commence diagnostic.
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Damage sustained during sleep (d10)