Acceptance

[Okram]

Okram quietly made his way to the lake, just outside the town. Settling down on the bank of the lake he removed his wolfmask. Peering at the reflection the moonlight made in the water he ran a hand trough his hair and exhaled deeply.

Composing himself he moved his hand to the amulet Kogra gave him, a frostwolf emblem with two fangs hanging next to it. Supposedly it can restore a connection to the spirits, or strenghten the ties, all depending on the Orc. He ran his thumb over the symbol as a soft smile curled on his lips. He then turned his gaze to the skies and closed his eyes as he started an attempt to commune with the spirits.

Even the ever noise making bugs seems to have gone quiet as all that is heared is the beating of his heart and the drawing of his breath. His mind focusses on one spirit in particular, one that has been waiting for too long.


A soothing feeling washed over his tired body. The soreness in his bones and muscles vanished for a moment as he felt the faintly familiar feeling of the spirits surging trough him. ''Throm'ka, stranger.''  A soft spoken voice rang in his ears, he opened his eyes to look upon the woman who uttered them. A young looking orcess had appeared before him. Her hair in her typical braids and a familiar necklace hang around her neck.

''Mok'ra Kryga. It is good to see you.'' Another soft smile curled on his lips as he inclined his head towards her in greeting. The orcess nodded back slowly. ''It has been a while hasn't it? Five, six years.. I've lost count to how long I've been waiting to hear from you..'' She casted a somber expression towards him.

Hanging his head in shame for a moment he takes his time to carefully pick his words. ''I am sorry Kryga, I truly am. I was ashamed to face you. I felt guilty.'' He rises to meet her eyes, trying to read her expression.

''Ashamed for what? What you did? I'd be more surprised if you haden't responded like that. I know it's not your way to have acted like that. But I'd forgive you your outburst of bloodlust, in fact I was glad you avenged me in some way.'' She shook her head a bit as she looked upon him. ''Still you trap yourself inside your own mind I see. For someone who's considered smart you seem awfully slow to pick up certain things Okram.'', a soft chuckle emitted from her.

''I was raised to take pride in controlling our more savage side. I failed in that, I let myself go and turned into a rabid wolf with the power of the elements in it's grasp. What I did to those Alliance was overboard, even if they are our enemies. Their families and loved ones wouldn't recognize what was left of them when they'd be buried or put on a pyre.'' he shook his head a bit and let out a sigh. ''I was angry with the spirits. I dreamed of horrible things happening, nightmares that soon turned to reality. I felt as if they tortured me. I couldn't just simply accept the fact I had lost you and that I'd been unable to do anything about it.'' he averted his gaze and clenched his fist in frustration. ''By the time I stopped being angry I was convinced it was too late for me to still contact you..''

She tilted her head a bit as she watched him. ''I remember your dreams yes.. But you can't blame the spirits for that. And you should have know it'd never be too late to contact me. Atleast judging from the fact that you've sought me out you realized that.'' once again she offered him a kind smile. ''But I have the feeling that you haven't yet accepted that somethings simply happen, have you?''

''No..'' He frowns a bit as he anwsers. ''I find it hard to accept that I can't do anything about things. I hate being helpless. I couldn't do anything about what happened to you. About what happened to Sakinra the night she almost died and just the other day I was told to just prepare for loss. As I've been having more dreams like the ones I had before.. Well you know.'' He sighs heavily and slumps his shoulder, a look of hopelessness painted on his face.

''How I wish that I was still able to hold you right now, my poor Okram. What you see is a gift, even if you do not realize it. But I'm certain you will one day.'' she took a moment to consider her next words, touching against the necklace she was wearing, a gift from Okram. ''I am sorry to hear that apperantly you will experience loss again, it must be tough but you must accept it. You can't live like you do now Okram, fearing your dreams and the future. You are stronger than that. And you aren't alone, you still have Sakinra right? A shame I never got to meet her, you always did speak highly of her. If she's truly as good as a friend as you made out to be then she'll be there for you.''

A sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his temples. ''I just.. I don't know Kryga.. I feel more alone than ever. Since you died I've tried to escape, utterly devoting myself to the elements in a desperate attempt to exert some control on my life. But I haven't felt like I lived for those years untill recently. And now the dreams are back.. And I feel like I'm stumbling from one disaster into another, everything once again out of my control. It's driving me insane. I feel so.. angry and betrayed. It has been disheartening to say the least.. Even talking about it sends a uncomfortable pressure to my chest, making it hard to breath whilst fire starts burning in my veins.''

''You only focus on the negative, you have a grim outlook on life Okram, you always had. Ever worrying about things and not taking and accepting it as it comes. I am sorry about what happened, yes I keep an eye on you. But it's not the end of the world. Nor is the loss that will come.'' a soft smile appeared on her lips as she looked upon him. ''You need to look at what you have Okram. You found a place for to belong, to live again. Not only for yourself but also for Sakinra. You cling to what you've lost or will lose but not to what you've gained and will gain. Open your eyes Okram. Accept things as they are and realize that not everything is dark and dreary.''

A slight nod is his response, his body trembling slightly and his voice broken and soft, slowly tears start rolling down his face. ''I love you Kryga, I always will..'' She smiled at him in response. ''I know, and I'll always love you as well. But we are apart now, you have your life to live. And I will wait to meet you again, no matter what happens. But promise me something Okram.''

''What is it?'' he looked up at her with a curious look in his watery eyes. ''Be happy. Accept what you have and be happy with it. You'll experience joy, you'll experience pain. But don't give up on life again.'' He nods in return to her words. ''I promise.''

She smiled as her spirit started slowly fading again. ''Don't make me wait another five years before you talk to me again.. And go rest Okram, ancestors know you need it. Untill next time..'' He closed his eyes and nodded, wiping the tears from his face as he watched her spirit fade. Whilst he felt sadness he also felt something in him that accepted it. A soft and warm smile curled on his lips. ''Goodbye Kryga, and thank you.''


Okram raised to his feet and shoots a glance at the sky. Suddenly he could feel the tireness and soreness return to his body. He winced a bit as he made his way to where he slept. He couldn't help but smile a little. He haden't felt this calm in quite a while. As he readied himself for sleep he kept feeling that tonight he didn't have to fear his dreams, tonight he'd sleep well.

[Sakinra/Akanra]

*squeee*  Lovely reading. Poor Okram

[Gashuk]

Great read, good writing!