Inner Thoughts

[Rhonya]

Wind blew softly over the rocky terrain above the Vault of the Earth. It was a warm wind, gentle and actually not filled with the normal fel stench that hung around Tanaan jungle. This place was cleaner, a last defense against the corruption of the life in there, protected by furies and shaman alike, working in harmony. The marsh nearby added its own unique smell to the mix, humid and warm. Despite the wind surrounding the figure on the rocks, she was slightly shivering as if she was cold. Her arms were wrapped around her form, which was clad in a simple and worn out brown robe, tattered around the edges and stained here and there too. She’d gotten thinner the past few weeks; it was getting a bit more obvious now the wind pressed the fabric tight against her skin. Her cheekbones were more pronounced, her ribs and hipbones visible more than usual. It was this place, she knew it. This place and the things going on. Though she did feel better here, surrounded by the furies, sitting on the spot Gashuk had done the ritual with her, gaining the furies their attention and asking them to aid her. She felt them closer here, it was comforting to know she wasn’t entirely alone.

Rhonya sighed softly, her own breath mingling with the warm wind that stroked past her cheeks, as if trying to calm her, to support her. Her mind wasn’t really there though; it was back on the happenings of the past few days. She hadn’t left camp often, knowing she’d mainly be in the way in the thick of fighting. She was more useful preparing her mending things and taking care of those wounded when they returned. The hunt with Darmag had been a very welcome distraction, as they’d made their way back into Talador which was right around the corner. The air was better there, and the hunt had been nice, although she’d gotten a scare as he’d nearly had his foot bitten off by a giant bird. He’d listened to her stories, not judged her for what she’d done in the past, and Rhonya was thankful for that. She hadn’t really been able to help him with his own problem yet, but she hoped that now Sadok had returned, he’d be able to give her some insight on it as well.

Thinking of Sadok only made her shiver again. He’d come back, but… He’d been blind, for some reason. He only told her that it’d been angry spirits who’d done it, but he wouldn’t specify in detail on why the spirits were so angry with him, or what he’d done to deserve such punishment. Rhonya was worried though. Worried for him, mostly. His words from the day before, their talks…
Sadok was still stuck with his mind in his vision. This perfect little life he’d had for a short time, even though it was only in his head. He’d told her about it, and at first she hadn’t worried much. He was the Thur’ruk, he knew visions were just reflections or twisted imaginations of fears and worries, shown by the spirits in a different light.
But then he’d begun to wonder. What if…? What if they could have that life together, what if Rhonya could fall in love with him in time and they’d be as happy as they had been in his vision?

Rhonya looked down upon the camp, without really seeing what was below her. The wind still circled her, and it suddenly remembered her of Sadoks hand on her cheek, the gentle touch, not one of just a brother, but a lover…

She shook her head to clear it from the memory. She’d pulled out of the kiss. She wasn’t sure why, but it’d make her feel very warm and fuzzy inside, but at the same time very opposed to what she was doing. He’d wanted her to prove she didn’t feel anything… But she couldn’t really deny it. The link they shared… She felt waves of what he felt at times, his emotions, his hurts. His thoughts, if he opened up for her. And how could she not feel anything when someone gave himself to her so completely, making her feel so special, after all those months of being utterly alone?
So Rhonya had lied to him. Told him there wasn’t anything she felt. It wasn’t actually really a lie, for how much of those feelings had been her own, and how much had been her own emotions overwhelming her as they so often liked to do?

She’d tried talking to Kozgugore about it, but he’d mainly just scorned her for being weak willed and allowing Sadok way too much. In which he was right, in a way, but it was still hard to hear that coming from someone she so respected, someone she so valued and didn’t want to disappoint.
The wind blew around her again, carrying the comforting warmth with it, surrounding her in a little cone. Her hair blew up around her face and she blinked, actually focusing now, a small smile appearing on her lips as she looked around.

“I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you… Just a lot on my mind, is all. Thank you for being here…” she softly spoke, to no one in particular, her voice thick with emotion, her smile sad. She closed her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of the breeze for a moment until it settled down again, lowering her hair onto her back gently again. She remained sitting there though, looking down below over the camp, keeping an eye on the happenings and bustle of the shaman.

Rhonya felt guilty for not being completely honest to Sadok. But it was better this way… Nothing could happen between them. He had his pregnant mate, they deserved each other. They were perfect together… Sadok just had to put a bit more trust into Kyrazha. Perhaps she could try and help with that a little. Push him towards Kyrazha, and not allowing him to get too close to herself again. She’d keep her foot down, as Kozgugore had advised her to.

Now she just had to keep to that.

[Rhonya]

2.



There was nothing special about the rock. Rhonya had been looking down at it for a long time now, turning it in her hands again and again, trying to keep herself awake. It was just a rock. And still Darmag had wanted her to keep hold of it, said it would keep her safe, it was good…
Her blue eyed gaze moved over to the orc lying next to her. He was sleeping, and she could see the shadows of the campfire move over his face, giving a false illusion as if he was stirring and moving, the shadows and light of the fire dancing over his sharp features. He was quiet now, but Rhonya was sure that in his head the battle still raged. His mother, they’d told her… Makaroth had been in camp when she had arrived after running into a very tired, very distressed Kyrazha. The pregnant female hadn’t been able to tell her much, only that something was wrong with Darmag and she had to go there, fast.

He was holding the rock already when she arrived. Tried to trade it to Siyahgosh for his gem. Rhonya had noticed right away something had been incredibly off, he was tied hands and ankles, staring dumbly ahead, his eyes but a muddy, vague color of what they normally were. Especially his red eye, looked… dark.

Makaroth had said he’d locked the presence of his mother away for now, but that it wouldn’t last. He’d gone to sleep and Rhonya had sat down to properly treat Darmags wounds. Apparently Kyrazha had been forced to shoot him, he had an arrow wound on his leg and he was covered in odd cut marks, as if they were forming a certain pattern with blood. She’d found out through talking to him, now alone around the campfire, that she was hurting him… His own mother, who’d wanted to sacrifice her son for her own goals, trying to take over his body… How someone could do this was beyond Rhonya, but she promised Darmag she’d help him. He hardly seemed to understand her, whatever Makaroth had done to lock her away for now, had also affected Darmags concentration and ability to speak.

She broke through though, for a short moment. Rhonya had spoken to the one who had suddenly appeared in Darmags mind, the one who had tried to use her sons blood to draw ritual circles, to finish something she’d started years ago, she said. She hurt him, horribly.. His whole body convulsing and shaking in pain. Rhonya had gotten mad, but this had only seemed to amuse her, and she promised Rhonya that once she broke through, she’d shatter what was left of his conscious mind, and would enjoy it...

Rhonya sighed deeply, inhaling the warm, humid jungle air and letting it out her nose again. Spirits be damned, nothing could go right here in this jungle. First Sadok, and now this…She’d promised Darmag she’d stay with him while he forcefully slept, her potion having made sure of that. Her eyelids started to droop while she kept looking at the stone in her hand.
There was nothing special about it… But she’d keep it with her. And stay next to him. Because she promised. They’d find a way to help him the next day, she was sure. They had to. She wouldn’t lose another one under her care.
She couldn’t…

[Rhonya]

3.


Damnit. Damnit it all. She was so tired, but she couldn't sleep. Sadok had left long ago to go talk to Kyrazha, leaving Rhonya alone at her own sleeping furs. She'd fallen down right away, hoping to drift off into oblivion at least for a little while, let her mind forget about what had happened, but even that wasn't granted to her now.
The day had started so well... Sadok had helped her and Makaroth with making a ritual for Darmag, which had rid him of the presence of his mother in his head. Darmag hadn't got a clue what exactly had happened though, and he seemed to now just blame them all for sticking a dagger through his eye. She hadn't gotten the chance yet to explain it all properly to him, that it had been needed, that it'd been for his own good... But how do you tell someone that his own mother had just seen him as a puppet, and never cared for him, while he believed so much otherwise? She'd have to worry about that later, when she saw him again... If she wasn't too damn tired.

Rhonya had mended his eye as good as she'd could at that moment. And there it all started to go more downhill. She'd been sad, she'd been exhausted, she'd been confused. Sadok had took her aside and brought the old problem up again. Stupidly enough she'd let him talk, and talk, and.. make her even more sad.
The next moment she didn't even remember clearly, it all happened in a haze and ended in her waking up with an angry Siyahgosh standing over her and Sadok, speaking in an odd voice.
Rhonya wasn't even sure exactly what had happened. She just had been so tired... Sadok had taken her away, and she could barely walk, but she had followed. Rhonya had told him he had to go speak to Kyrazha, to explain, to stay with her, to forget about all this...
And there she was, all alone again. Sleep wouldn't come... Maybe it was her own fault.



A lone figure rummaged with a stick into the remains of the campfire. Slender hands grabbed something from the edge of the ashes, long nails curling around a deep, blue gem. The gem looked to be unharmed by the heat, not a smudge on it. The bracelet it had once been a part of, however, had not survived the angry flames. The campfire was empty, most other camp inhabitants already in their furs.
The figure looked down on the blue stone in her hand, and a tear fell down next to it, dragging a line on the soot covered skin. With effort, the female shape stood up. It was clear she was pregnant, her stomach poking ahead when she limped into the shadows of the overhanging cliffs. She just dropped herself on her side, curling up around her belly, putting her arms around it.
Shoulders shaking softly, she remained there, tears silently running over her face. After a little while, a tiger snuck up beside her, and curled itself around her form protectively, keeping her warm. She turned around, and clung to the animal, burying her face into the soft fur.
The stone, she kept clenched in her fist.