Orcs of the Red Blade

Welcome to Orcs of the Red Blade. Please login.

November 23, 2024, 01:50:58 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Recent

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 33,083
  • Total Topics: 3,067
  • Online today: 308
  • Online ever: 449 (October 27, 2024, 12:55:06 PM)
Users Online
  • Users: 0
  • Guests: 267
  • Total: 267
267 Guests, 0 Users

Glimmering Sand

Started by Rashka, February 29, 2016, 03:13:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Rashka

Glimmering Sand
Chapter 1

(Edit: To clarify, the first part is from the perspective of the Blood Elf.)

In a bar, stationed in Uldum, 3 weeks ago;
A heavily hooded person enters the bar, her cloak serving as a facewrap, protectig her from the grains of sand most likely. Nothing new around here, though. She sat down at the table, ordering a mug of ale, whilst unwrapping the cloak protecting her face from sand. Her face green, and heavily scarred. She cast me a look upon noticing my starring, and I lowered my look.

"He'd better no' be starrin' at me." She mumbled, sitting down onto the bench, her aching sore body finally getting a bit of rest. "One of 'em ale, if y'please." She nodded to the bartender, whilst unwrapping her cloak from her already hooded head. She'd of been here for a while now, the damned grit could get anywhere, even with her kind of facial protection. Not that she cared much though, not anymore anyway. She shot the man infront of her, a Blood Elf male, a short glance, his expression showing that he clearly wasn't fond of her. "Wha' ye 'ere fer, Elf? Yer kind no' too sof' skinned fer places like this?" Smirking slightly I grabbed my mug of ale, having a deep well deserved drink from it. The Blood Elf let out an unpleased scowl. "Oh please, my kin may not be the thoughest around here, but it doesn't mean we can't take a bit of sand." Eyeing him briefly, I let out a burst of laughter. "O' c'mon yer kin be t'bigges' wussies ou' there, imagine if ye broke a nail- HAH!" The bartender joined in on the laughing, before it slowly died out again. "Listen now you green-skinned babarian I did not come all this way to listen to your shit talking of m-.." He was interrupted before he could finish his sentence, as I slammed my fist into the table. "O' shu' up ye. I be jus' foolin' around wit' ye. Bu' seriously, wha' be ye doin' around 'ere?" The Elf seemed to calm down a bit, the red from his face fading slowly. "What everyone else is here for.. Treasure hunting. And you?" I narrowed my one eye slightly, before snorting. "Tha' be a lon' story." The Elf peered at her briefly. "I'm listening. Not like I got anything but time, I'm not planning to enter that sandstorm out there." Looking over her shoulder she saw the wind picking up, lifting the sand around. "Ergh, fine." I sighed as I drained my mug.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It all started ou' many moons ago, I 'ad a pretty normal  life, ter say t'leas'. I 'ad a mate, an' a cub. A good position in me Tribe, a well respected member, or close ter one, a'leas'. 'owever, everythin' wasn' so rose red on t'inside of thin's. Me mate be a drunk. Wether 'im like ter see it, or no'. Killin' fer t'sake of fun, nay 'onour, really. An' due ter me position in t'tribe, I rarely 'ad t'chance of seein' me cub. 'er safety comes before me 'appines. Ergh, anyroad, I was slowly dyin' on t'inside. Me mate disappeared, nothin' new. I wen' ter see me cub one las' time, before leavin' meself. I didn' know where to, ter star' off with. I jus' knew I was goin' away fer a while. I didn' leave any note, all I lef' was me wolf-mask, fer Korgara, I didn' want 'er ter forget me.
A moon or so later, I arrived in Tanaris. Durin' one of me nights in t'bar there, I overhead a small group talkin' abou' headin' towards Uldum, curious, I schooched over, so tha' I could 'ear 'em better. "Ya mon, I be 'earin' Uldum be full of 'em treassures!" one of them almos' shouted. Archin' a brow, I raised me voice. "Wha' be these "treassures" ye be talkin' of, Troll?" T'troll, surprised by me question, almos' choked on 'ims own drink. "N-nothin' mon." Snortin' I answered 'im. "Yer stutterin' seems ter disagree with tha'. 'im looked down, lettin' 'ims boss, a gobbo, take over. "Yeah-yeah, and so what if we're looking for treasures. - Ya don't exactly look like a treasure hunter, hah!" Archin' a brow, a smirked. "Nothin' I can' become."

"T'nex' day we se' off. T'caravan dragged by a bunc' of camels. I prefered ter walk, an' thoug' t'walk was lon', sweaty, an' full of grains I didn' complain. Afterall, I brough' meself inter this. I couldn' 'elp bu' think abou' me daughter, wonderin' if 'em was takin' good care of 'er. Afterall, tha' be all I wanted. I quickly figured ou' why 'em wanted an' extra pair of 'ands with them on 'ems journey. Desert thieves seemed ter thrive off murderin' and stealin' from every single caravan 'em 'ad a chance ter steal from. Around this time, I think 'em was 'appy I was with 'em. Slayin' a few thieves wouldn' be t'firs' kill I 'ad done, an' killin' a few more surely wouldn' make a difference fer me. "Look!" One of 'em shouted. We 'ad finally come ter t'gates of Uldum. Where 'em said treassures should be. We didn' get far thoug'.. We were assualted by a bunc' of small lookin' men. A kind I 'adn't seen before. Nay gnomes, nor gobbos. Before I could ge' ter act, we were engulfed in a thick smoke, an' blackness laid before me eyes."
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rhonya

#1
Nice one! Though if I may give one tip, try to write the entire story either from 'him/her' perspective, or from 'I' perspective from one person.
Now you skip between the two almost every sentence,in the upper parts of the story at least, and it makes it -very- hard to understand who exactly is being talked about.
"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

Rashka

Quote from: Rhonya on February 29, 2016, 04:01:29 PM
Nice one! Though if I may give one tip, try to write the entire story either from 'him/her' perspective, or from 'I' perspective from one person.
Now you skip between the two almost every sentence,in the upper parts of the story at least, and it makes it -very- hard to understand who exactly is being talked about.

You mean the part in the start with the blood elf? Or the two talking to eachother? Thanks for the feedback :3
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rhonya

The part before Rashka tells her story, basically.

You shift from 'I' perspective, being Rashka, to suddenly calling Rashka 'her/she' again. It shifts so often that it's hard to keep track of who is actually being meant or from who's perspective it's written.
"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

Rashka

Quote from: Rhonya on February 29, 2016, 05:47:18 PM
The part before Rashka tells her story, basically.

You shift from 'I' perspective, being Rashka, to suddenly calling Rashka 'her/she' again. It shifts so often that it's hard to keep track of who is actually being meant or from who's perspective it's written.

The first part isn't Rashka ^^
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rhonya

I got that after reading it a few times yeah, but I mean the entire part before she tells her story. xD So also the part under the elfs view.
"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

Rashka

#6
“Once again there was the desert, and that only.”
― Stephen King

Chapter 2

"When I woke up again, t'caravan was gone, aswell as t'treasure thieves. I be no' sure why 'em lef' me there, bu' I be' 'em didn' wanna brin' me where-ever 'em took t'others. Checkin' my waterskin, I didn' 'ave much water lef'. I 'ad ter spare on it, fer sure, if I wanted ter make it ou' of there alive. I only 'ad a few droplets of water, before startin' ter walk. I 'ad no map, an' I 'adn't ever been ter Uldum before, so all I really could do was ter keep walkin', searching fer any signs of civilization. After 'avin' walked fer a while, I could see somethin' green.. Or was I jus' hallucinating? T'eat 'ere surely would be able ter do somethin' like tha' ter ye. Bu' as I came closer, I could make ou' I wasn' seein' thin's, an' it was an actual green spo'. Wit' water. I sped up me pace, walkin' faster towards it. 'owever I wasn' t'only one who 'ad 'eaded there. T'others of me crew, or rather, t'treasure caravan, was there too. An' 'em were captured. Sneakin' up a bi' closer, I started ter form a plan in me 'ead. There only was a few guards lef', t'res' 'ad seemingly gone somewhere else. I didn' know where, bu' it didn't matter, I 'ad already made me choice, treasures or no' treasures. T'plan wasn' exactly a plan, in me 'ead it was simple enoug', go in smack some brown small gobbos, or wha'ever 'em were, free t'others and ge' away. Bu' of course 'em plans never go as 'em are planned ter. 'em small ones were surprisingly good fighters, an' althoug' I go' a few of 'em taken ou', there still were more lef'. An' because of 'ems sieze 'em 'ad an easier time 'itting an' stabbin' me. I finally managed ter ge' t'res' of 'em knocked ou', if no' killed, bu' bein' heavily wounded at t'same time. I found 'em keys on one of 'em bodies, throwing t'keys ter t'others in t'cage before passin' out from dehydration an' overheatin'.

When I woke up again, I was in somethin' tha' resembled a bed, in a small ten'. Beside me 'ead on t'floor there was a waterskin, whic' I obviously grabbed righ' away, drinkin' deeply from it. It was very 'ot in t'tent, so I sa' up, peerin' ou'side, it looked like we 'ad set camp 'ere fer now. Where ever we migh' be. Peerin' down, I could see I 'ad been patched up, no' a pretty sigh', bu' then again, battle wounds rarely be.. One of 'em crew members saw I 'ad woken up, an' came with some cold soup fer me, noddin' me thanks ter 'im whils' 'im was tellin' me wha' 'ad 'appened after I passed ou'. Apparently 'em brown gobbos, called pygmy it seems like, 'ad came back once 'em 'ad gotten ou' of 'em cages, an' a figh' 'appened, one me crew luckily 'ad won. They 'ad then walked fer a bi' untill they found a somewha' quie' place by t'lake ter settle down by. T'nigh' was close, so after finishin' me bowl of soup, I wen' back ter sleep fer a bi'.

T'nex' mornin' we se' ou' into t'burnin' 'ot deser'. I wasn' really sure where we were 'eaded, bu' it fel' like we 'ad been walkin' fer ages before we finally stopped fer a small break. Me waterskin still 'ad a bi' of water lef', I knew we 'ad more on t'caravan, bu' still fel' odd ter drink t'last bi' of it. Standin' there in me own though's fer a while, I suddenly spotted somethin' glimmerin' in t'sand ou' of t'conor of me righ' eye. Shoutin' it ter 'em others we almos' ran towards it. Which isn' t'easiest thin' ter do in sand, by t'way. Startin' ter shovel t'burnin' 'ot sand wit' our 'ands it slowly became clear tha' I--.. I errh mean us, 'ad 'it t'jackpo'. It was a golden ju', wit' a few red gems embedded into it. We decided ter se' camp 'ere, whils' diggin' fer more of 'em shiny treasures, this time wit' actual shovels, heh.

Any'ow, days became weeks, an' weeks became months. We 'ad found a few more treasures; Suc' as a few gold coins an' golden plates. Even a golden spear wit' red an' green gems on. We were goin' ter be ric' fer sure!

...-Tha' was if t'gobbo leadin' us there, didn' run off wit' all the goods on t'caravan, 'swell as all our supplies durin' t'nigh'. Now we were lef' there, in t'deser', wit' only very little water, an' no sign of society anywhere near us."
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rashka

“Evil originates not in the absence of guilt; but in our effort to escape it.”
― Shannon L. Alder


Chapter 3

"So there we was, wit'ou' food, wit'ou' any of our 'ardly worked fer treassures, an' wit' barely any water. T'others started ter panick, an' suddenly a figh' started, fightin' fer wha' little resources there were lef'. Intially I tried ter talk sense into 'em, bu' 'em didn' listen, an' thus I 'ad ter figh' back, since they wanted me stuff too. Luckily fer me, I 'ad been reunited wit' me katanas back when I freed 'em others, an' after a while 'em were all layin' on t'burnin' 'ot sand, either knocked ou', dead, or bleedin' ou'. I be no' sayin' I killed 'em all by meself, nor be I sayin' tha' I wanted ter, bu' 'em were still lyin' there on t'ground. Killin' our own.. Nothin' I be proud of. Bu' I go' 'ems extra resources, an' I lef' those of 'em tha' weren' dead ye', an' migh' of 'ad a chance, some of t'water tha' I could spare.

I don' know fer 'ow lon' I 'ad been walkin' bu' suddenly t'wind picked up. Surely a sandstorm was on its way, grea' timin'. Erg', any'ow, I 'ad taken one of 'ems tents leather-tarpaulin wit' me incase I 'ad ter 'ide from somethin' or someone. After all t'color of t'leather be almos' t'same as t'sand!

So there I was layin' underneat' t'leather-tarpaulin, ontop of t'burnin' 'ot sand. I couldn' do muc' bu' try an' ge' some res' althoug' it wasn' easy with t'stron' winds. I was usin' me bodys weigh' ter keep t'leather-tarpaulin over me, bu' even wit' me weigh' it was 'ard ter keep it down.

I think there 'ad gone abou' an 'our or so, before it was over again. I 'adn't exactly gotten any res' as I intially 'ad 'oped ter ge', bu' I was alive, an' tha' was t'mos' importan' thing. I didn' know fer 'ow lon' tha' would las' thoug'. I 'ad barely any water lef', an' when lookin' ou' from under t'leather-tarpaulin I still couldn' spo' any sign of life. An' as if tha' wasn' bad enoug', t'sandstorm 'ad blown everythin' around, so I no longer 'ad any idea of where I was, or 'ad been.

Bu' wha' could I do?  I jus' 'ad ter keep walkin'. So I packed t'leather-tarpaulin away once more, an' started walkin'. By now I barely 'ad any of my boots soles lef', t'sand 'aving worn an' torn 'em up, aswell as t'eat. It wasn' exactly pleasan' ter walk, an' it wasn' like I 'ad muc' ter look at. Me mind started playin' tricks wit' me. Pictures started ter form infron' of me. Of me mate, me cub an' me Tribe. 'em were judgin' me. Yellin' at me fer leavin' 'em. I tried ter shake it off, bu' 'em jus' wouldn' go away.
I don' know fer 'ow lon' I 'ad been walkin' wit' em voices an' pictures fadin' in an' ou' in me 'ead, when I finally spotted somethin' resemblin' a small village an'-.. Was tha' water? Everythin' wen' quie' fer a momen', an' there wasn' anythin' bu' t'sigh' of t'water an' t'village infron' of me. I started ter run, leadin' ter me fallin' an' pretty muc' runnin' wit' me 'ands whils' pushin' meself forward wit' me legs. I didn' ge' far thoug' as I fel' a  stin' of pain in me lef' 'and ou' of nowhere.. Everythin' started ter become blurry, an' darkness rolled over me mind."
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rashka

On hold for an unknown amount of time, due to irl things.
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar

Rashka

#9

“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.”
― Charles Dickens

Chapter 4

It was just a normal patrol, the Ramkahen thought. "Doesn't look like there's nothing out of the or-..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, as he spotted something sticking out of the sand. A body? Clothes? Waving the other guard over, they investigated. "Hey it's one of those green ones.. What were they called.. Orcies? Orgie-.." The other one rolled his eyes, stating "Orcs." The guard went over to the Orc laying somewhat buried in the sand, another one lost to the desert-.. Or so he thought. It had a pulse. It was weak, but it was there. "Let's get this one to the priests."



When I woke up, I was inside a bi' 'ouse it seemed like.. Me whole body 'urt, and everythin' still was blurry. Suddenly a bi' brown.. Ca' man.. Appeared. I blinked me eyes a few times, no' sure if I were dreamin' or no'.  "Wha' t'fel be ye?!" I shouted at t'ca' man. 'im just stared at me fer a while, before pointin' ter me le'. There was a black spo' sor' of looked like I 'ad been poisoned. I started ter remember wha' 'ad 'appened. It mus' of 'ad been a snake. "Ye saved me?" T'ca' man nodded at me, before 'anding me a mu' of water. Or well, it wasn' really a mu'. It was a golden goble', an' I jus' stared at it fer a while, confused, before drinkin' from it. "Thank ye, I mumured, before 'aving ter 'and 'im t'goble' back. Sadly.

Spendin' t'nex' few days recouperatin' I go' ter learn 'em ca' men better. 'em told me 'em were some sor' of ancien' species or somethin', called Ramkahen. I think I prefered ca' men. T'pries' who 'ad tended ter me, became a quite good friend over t'nex' few weeks, showin' me around an' teachin' me stuff.



"An' tha' be me story." T'elf stared at me fer a while, before clappin' 'ims 'ands. "Amazing, amazing! I must say the Ramkahen here is quite pleasa-.." I interrupted 'im before 'im could finis'. "O' well! T'sandstorm seems ter be over! I bes' ge' on me fligh' 'ome before it be too late!" The Elf stared at her for a while, not quite sure what expression to put on. She left the inn, insantly, leaving him to pay the bills, which he wouldn't realize for quite a while yet.. She hoped, atleast.



She looked around, almost sad that she had to leave, but she had been gone from her family, and the Tribe, for far too long.

After having said her goobyes, she went to the flight master, where the Ramkahen had secured her a safe flight back to Orgrimmar. She stated her grattitude once more, as she seated herself upon the saddle of the windrider. "Thanks a lo' fer everythin'. I'll make sure ter return sometime, per'aps wit' me Tribe. 'opefully I can pay me debts ter ye then. She flashed her tusks at her new friend in a grin, and he just laughed at her in return. "I'll make sure of it!" He shouted, as the windrider took off.

The flight was pretty pleasant actually she thought. Some rain here and there, but she found it much more pleasant that the boiling heat of the desert. Looking out over the landscape she smiled to herself. "Per'aps it wasn' suc' a bad trip, afterall."
Rashka Facebreaker - Battlesworn of the Nag'Ogar