In Memoriam - Farewell to a beloved friend

[Sinami]

Cold. Empty. Void. Those were the only words fitting enough to describe what I was feeling. The cloying scent of blood was thick in my nostrils and I had to fight against the urge to gag. I could feel the softness of his fur against my face, his body still warm in my arms. But with every passing moment that warmth seeped away, little by little. Soon enough I would be cradling a cold corpse, but right then and there I didn't care.

I could hear the others moving about around me. They approached one by one, offering what words of comfort they could, but they didn't reach me. Nothing could pierce the thick veil of grief that had settled around me, not their hands upon my shoulder, not their kindly meant words, nor their own grief in regards to what had happened. I was heavily shielded against it, my sole focus was on my best friend lying dead in my arms.

I had arrived at the Throne of the Elements filled with hope and excitement, as well as a healthy dose of nervousness and fear. Today would be the day when I would finally be granted sight. I just knew it! My deepest wish and most heartfelt dream would finally come true. Frostfang, being as attuned as he was to me, shared in my excitement and happily bounded alongside me and my borrowed riding wolf.

We had gathered the requested offerings last week, all four elemental cores being safely stashed in a bag of their own, a bag that was now in Rhonya's possession. We were as ready as we would ever be and I felt my heart soar with joy as Rhonya begun the ritual. But as the ritual progressed I would be painfully reminded of the truth in the old saying "be careful what you wish for, for the spirits might grant it to you"...

I knew something was wrong the moment The Spirit of the Wild, speaking through Rhonya, told me that the final price was yet to be paid. I felt my heart sink and sweat break out across my brow. The cores we had gathered hadn't been enough. They had all been accepted as tribute, of course, but they weren't the ultimate price... I suddenly recalled Rhonya telling me that the spirits could sometimes be cruel in their demands and a feeling of deepest unease settled in my heart as the spirit continued. 
"...For that, another shall have to fall into darkness. We have chosen the price, and will claim it. A beast of the wild, it will return to us in body. But it will live on in spirit."

I could feel invisible bonds holding me in place, I tried to strain against them and break their hold, but to no avail. I was rendered completely helpless and I would not be able to stop what was about to happen. And suddenly I knew. I knew what the spirit wanted and it filled me with dread. I would rather stay blind than having to pay the ultimate price for my sight, since, to me, that price was too high. I couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it. But I had been robbed of choice. Tricked.

My heart constricted within my chest as Frostfang turned to nuzzle me one last time and as he moved away from me, towards the awaiting death, I was filled with such grief that I scarcely have the words to describe it. Through our bond I could feel Frostfang's love and acceptance of his fate, his final sacrifice for me. But it was a sacrifice I had never asked of him, had never expected to ever ask of him, and I didn't want it. I wanted him with me, as he'd always been since the day he'd been born. I didn't want to be parted from him. I didn't want to live without him. Having to wake up every day without him cuddled close against me would be hard. Not being able to ever share in the thrill and pleasure of the hunt together would be agony. But to not be able to connect, mind to mind, heart to heart, soul to soul, as we'd always done ever since that first day... that would break my heart.

The invisible bonds seemed to tighten around me, but it only made me struggle harder. It was the hardest battle I had ever fought, and in the end it was all completely useless. Suddenly the air around me was filled with the scent of blood, and through our bond I could feel Frostfang's life draining from him and it brought me to my knees. Sorrow, rage and grief engulfed me in that instant and the rest of the ritual passed in a hazy blur.

It was only afterwards, when I watched the flames of the funeral pyre consume Frostfang's body that I remembered the details. I remembered being released from my bonds. I remembered The Spirit telling me to rejoice in this as a new beginning, not an ending. I remembered Kozgugore forcing Frostfang's blood down my throat. But they were all insignificant details in the face of the sorrow that raged through me. It was consuming me rapidly, and watching Frostfang's body being likewise consumed was too much to bear.

I knew they all shared my grief, Rhonya, Therak, Trakmar, Kozgugore and Srelok. I knew, deep down, that allowing them to comfort me might make things easier. I might have gained sight from that ritual, but my heart was still blinded by anguish and thus it wouldn't allow the others to reach it. I could feel the weight of that pain threatening to bring me under, to crush me, and suddenly I didn't want any part in it. I didn't want to feel it, didn't want to have to deal with it. So I shut it off. It took a brief moment of focused concentration and then all my emotions were locked away behind an impenetrable wall and I sunk into emotionless bliss.

"So now I experience a void I know so well
A song of emptiness are fed again
Thorns arise with the breeze of cold insanity
I am alive but yet so dead"
"And Still I Wither" by Enslavement of Beauty

[Srelok]

Now I once again has a sad...

[Rhonya]

So lovely <3
And I feel so utterly guilty. xD

[Kozgugore]

Touching event and touching little story! Many feels were had, but it's a very interesting twist of events. Loved the story!

[Sinami]

Thanks guys! I am glad you like the story and that you all came to the event. And huge thanks to Rhon for organizing it!

[Vraxxar]

Wow....

I hate myself for missing this!

Great story! Despite being something no one (*Cough* No Frostwolf *Cough*) should experience.
Feelz n' sadness went over me.

[Therak]

Right in the feels! Both on the event and the story. RIP Frostfang...

[Sinami]

Aww! Thanks guys! Indeed... RIP Frostfang.