A fire reborn

[Rhonya]

“...Do not talk of what any of us -deserve-. If you will not do it, perhaps Steelheart will. She's never let me down before.”

The words made Rhonya cringe again, even though no one had really spoken them once more, except the memories in her mind that kept playing them over and over again, repeating them. She had been frozen, when he had spoken those words, Sadok thinking he had been speaking to High Blade Mazguul, not Rhonya herself.

“She's never let me down before.”

She had. And she knew it very well. He had died under her hands, she had given up, let him go, put everything she could into him, burning the poison, death… She closed her eyes, her hands clenching. She was sitting alone, on the edge of town, against one of the wooden walls. The memories took her back to that one day, in Revantusk Village. How they had found Sadok, in a corner, on the ground, bleeding. Hardly alive, how she had tried, tried to mend him. How others had been screaming at her, at everyone, at…others. She couldn’t even remember anymore, it was just a blur of pain, screams and a feeling of being completely helpless and useless. She hadn’t been able to save her tutor, her friend. She’d been too weak.

Another voice filled her mind now, adding to the chorus of screams, drowning them out.

“They think you are up to the task of Thur’ruk. But you are not. Just a lucky coincidence you made it there. You can’t help yourself. You don’t believe in yourself. You are â€"weak-.”

The words had only stirred the truth that she already knew. Spoken by a newblood…So even he had seen easily through her well kept mask, her mask of security, of courage, that she always tried to keep up. Rhonya had never wanted to let anyone down, though it seemed that she was just meant to keep doing it, over and over again. She knew people still believed in her. Those she loved… Her friends. But Nograx had been right. She didn’t believe in herself.

She had hurt him, for those words. And later again, when he had said something else. She had burned him. Rhonya didn’t even know how he was doing now, she’d just walked away from the sight of him falling to the ground, smoke rising up from him, the smell of burned skin hanging in the air. She had attacked one of her own… One of her family. There had been an anger in her that she hadn’t felt for a long time, rising, overflowing and bursting out. All the problems, the memories, the words, the pain, it had been too much. She had lost her patience, something that others seemed to think she endlessly possessed, and attacked him. She couldn’t forgive herself for this…

Slightly gasping for air her form just curled up, her shoulders shaking as tears started to stream down her face. Another voice joined in, a female voice this time, familiar to Rhonya. A voice she loved dearly.

"Still, you should go back to the village. It's not safe out here. Rargnasha and everyone. They will help with Sadok, for sure!"

The image of Shrika accompanied the voice and for a moment Rhonya felt calmer again, even though her cheek was now lying flat against the grass. Had she fallen over…? It didn’t matter… Shrika believed in her still, even after all those times Rhonya had not been able to help her, not been able to spare her the pain she didn’t deserve. She still had Therak too. Dear, sweet Therak… How he had ever been able to fall for her, such a broken and weak little thing, was still beyond her. He wanted to take her away… A few days, after the Kosh’harg. Just some time for them both. She said she would ask the Chieftain, when he returned. But now…

The image of Sadok appeared in front of her vision again, even though she had her eyes closed. He didn’t say anything. He just stood there, looking down on her with those eerie glowing eyes, insanity clear in his face. The robes he had once wore with pride, ripped and filthy hanging around his form that wasn’t even his, not the familiar face she had gotten to know so well. A face of a stranger… A face of someone who was suddenly so dependent on her.

Her vision cleared again, and suddenly she felt a heat around her. A burning, painful heat. Was she on fire…? Rhonya tried to move, but she couldn’t. Something kept her in place, pressed down on the grass, an invisible force. She gasped, her eyes opening and growing wide in panic. A voice appeared in her mind, a voice she had only heard a few times before. It didn’t really speak, it was more a feeling, feeling the words. A voice she knew but also slightly feared, for it was a side of her that almost never appeared. The voice of Fire...

“And here you are, -Steelheart-. The male was right, you know. Where is your fire. Your trust in me. Will you give up so easily, will you give in? I didn’t come back to you to see you break down like this, pathetic. Water has weakened you, doused the flames. I will change that. I will set fire to the embers once more. Don’t worry, my little flame.”

A seething hot caress moved over her cheek, burning the skin in the progress, but she didn’t feel the pain. The hot feeling spread through her, filled her, pushed against the darkest corners of her mind, burning away the insecurity, the pain. Fire lit up in her, for now, pushing everything else away. Finally she could move again. Around her, the grass was burned, the ground blackened. She only wore the burnmark on her cheek, no other injuries as she stood.

“I will strengthen you.”

[Oguur]

Very nice. I like it. Always liked your style of writing, and you continue to impress

Looking forward to see how things develop!

[Sadok]

Oh dear, I broke it. But fire fixed it! Better find new neuroses to poke at!

Well written!

[Rhonya]

You broke it good... A bit too good maybe. She broke Theraks neck by pushing him off a cliff...

*Oops*

[Sadok]

You broke it good... A bit too good maybe. She broke Theraks neck by pushing him off a cliff...

*Oops*

I give everything 110%. Including guilt-trips.

[Rhonya]

Rhonya was swimming… Was it swimming? She didn’t know. It felt like swimming, a bit, the stream softly pushing her from side to side while she just let herself float with the current, trusting the water completely. Though something was a little off, it didn’t really look like water, and there was a smell she couldn’t explain, but it wasn’t nice. There were some voices too, but she didn’t understand them, and actually she didn’t really care either.

Suddenly a pain was felt somewhere, far away and some flashes of light appeared at the edge of her vision ,breaking through the so carefully build world of silence and darkness around her. No, this wasn’t right… She didn’t want to feel this. Rhonya pulled herself back more, hiding away from that pain, that reminded her of another pain, deep inside. The image of Therak.. Broken, lying under the waterfall, his neck in an odd position, blood streaming, coloring the water red.

NO!

She didn’t want to see this! He wasn’t dead… He couldn’t be dead. He would wake up, and everything would be fine… The water pulled her under again, though something nagged at her still. Suddenly things moved again, she could feel it, like arms embracing her, before they were gone again and she was suddenly warm and soft. Where had the water gone?

The warmth reminded her of a fire… A fire.. Pyre…

Flames licking around the wood, destroying everything it came in contact with, burning, smoldering, eating… Fire always hungered, never satisfied, never stopping, always burning. She was standing below the pyre, looking up at it while it burned. Sadok was there… Standing in the flames, looking down on her with those emotionless, glowing blue eyes. This wasn’t right, that’s not what happened! She panicked a bit, trying to reach out for  him, screaming his name.

“Sadok!”

Her hands reached, trying to climb up to get him off before he would burn too, but the fire ate at her hands, her arms, made her skin boil and turn red, eventually black. The pain was too much, she couldn’t… Everything turned black suddenly, and she felt herself slipping into the darkness. No, she couldn’t.. Stop. Stop! She had so much to do.. Watch Therak, the cubs, everyone… The warmth and exhaustion dragged her under, and she couldn’t stop it. She wasn’t strong enough…

Slowly the form of Rhonya relaxed, lying on the furs in Rargnasha’s hut as she finally fell asleep, her breathing coming regularly and even, her form curled up under the blanket he had put over her.