The pain of being unliving

[Goru]

The she-orc sneaked out of the tower without even bothering putting on her clothes. Her bare feet moved over the wooden planks softly and as silent as a falling leaf in the wind. The cool, early morning breeze made her nipples pull together into hard knots and goosebumps quickly formed on her naked skin. As her feet touched the dewy grass a shiver went up her spine and she stood still a while with closed eyes and just took the sensation in. She took a deep breath, filling her nose with the forest, and then squatted down to sneak off into the underbrush with the raising sun at her back.

As she silently flew forward she saw the forest wake from it's slumber, the strange colorless dawn turned into a breathtaking display as the sun set the sky on fire which in return created an explosive reaction as the forest came back to life. The trees that had been grey and dreary now proudly crackled with colors. The rivers that had been flowing quietly in it's blackness now turned clear blue and the rippling sound greeted her as the dew turned into mist in a morning embrace. She slowed down as her lungs started burning in her chest and her still healing ribs ached with every breath. She slumped down on the ground by a tree and leaned back against the rough bark, it felt damp against her skin and once again a shiver went up her spine. She sat quiet and just listened. First she could only hear her own wheezing as her body struggled with every breath, but slowly the wheezing subsided and the sounds of the forest filled her ear. The scent of green and moisture filled her nose and as she opened her mouth she could taste the wind that brought her the essence of Ashenvale.

To much time had past since she last ran free. To much time had past since her will was taken from her. She felt trapped and as the anxiety slowly built up she crawled up sobbing. As the panic and fear rode her she felt like a child again, old memories came to life of the whip that cut through her skin on her back and her thighs, the knife that over and over and over again cut stright, prefectly stright lines into her forearms. The old memories turned into new ones as the demons robbed her from her life. Her life... it wasn't hers anymore, there wasn't even a life anymore. As the fear and pain subsided she slowly sat up again dragging herself back to the tree and leaned against it's comforting real surface... rough, damp, pulsing with life and wisdom. She pressed her hands against it to make sure it was real. She noticed that her cheeks where wet and as she moved her hands to her face to wipe the tears of she saw them again... She stared at them with disgust, followed every line... on her legs, on her arms, on her stomach, on her breasts... everywhere, all over her body the abhorrent scars left from the runes that had been carved into her flesh. She was nothing, worth nothing... all she was had been taken from her first by him, then the tribe, then the demons... Her life was a lie, her spirit was hollow... She pressed her hands against her chest and she felt it... The heart was still beating, the mockery was complete.

[Vashnarz]

Very nice story Goru, I enjoyed it

[Goru]

She clutched her hands around her head and pulled at her hair as the screams inside her made the world around her an empty blackness of nothing. Slowly the pained screams hushed and after a while there was only silence. She sat still, waiting, then after a long while as her breathing stopped hurting she opened her eyes again and the world once again emerged before her. The world that seemed so unreal to her now, nothing in it was what it seemed, everything was a lie.
She stretched her back and grunted as the cracking sounds made it clear to her that she had been sitting far much longer than she had thought. She looked up at the sky and frowned, the stars where gone and the sun where already up. She slowly got up on her feet and stretched them out and felt the pain as the blood started moving through them again as it should. She closed her eyes and just let the pain fill her senses... this was something she was familiar with.. this was something she knew how to handle... She got to the ledge and then climbed down the wall to the balcony and went inside. Still it was quiet but she knew the varog'gor was awake.

She woke up and quickly sat up and dragged her head down between her knees as she pulled her hair. The screams filled her head again and the pain went through her like red steel, burning her from the inside. She sucked in air between numb lips but the air didn't want to fill her lungs with life. She felt the darkness embrace her and the world around her faded out from existence. The she heard a voice in her head, calling for her, Swiftblade... it was her name was it not? Slowly she forced herself out of the darkness and yes, there it was... the voice again, female, bitter, calling for her. How long had she been out? She blinked her eyes as she slowly started to get a grasp of things again, cooking pots, a fire, piles of crates and bags, the smell of food. She turned to look at the fire and quickly moved to take the pot of it. a slightly burnt smell hit her nose and she realized she had burned the stew. She let out a silent grunt as she poured some of it into a wooden bowl and quickly grabbed a spoon and a filled waterskin before heading up the stairs. She may yell at me for being late and bringing her burned stew but at least I did my best, isn't that what she asked for? She smirked to herself then chuckled slightly before going silent as she got closer to the chieftains tower room.

[Goru]

She slumped down on the cliff her breathing heavy after the long run. The wheezing sounds screamed in her ears and every breath pained her chest but she embraced the pain. The pain was soothing, the pain she could handle. She took up a knife and pulled off her glove while sobbing and ripped the bracers from the left arm and didn't even care to watch the pieces of it fall down to the ground and over the cliff into the water and slowly float away. Slowly and methodically she started cutting small, perfectly fine lines into her heavily scarred flesh. To see the blood seep out calmed her feelings and she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the stinging pain from the wounds. After a while her breathing calmed as well and finally her mind went numb. Without even noticing she dropped the knife and it fell down to the river and sank to the bottom to forever be forgotten.

Eventually she came back to her senses and tiredly opened her eyes to meet the morning light and she blinked a couple of times to give the eyes a chance to get used to the brightness. She looked down at her arm and tilted her head as she watched the still bleeding wounds... they where seven. Why seven? She wrinkled her forehead as her mind slowly started working as she tried to figure out why there where seven wound. Why not six or eight or ten? why seven? She moved her right hand up to her face and absentmindedly wiped the tears away but her mind couldn't apprehend why or how her cheeks got wet, it was too occupied with the thought of how many wounds she had on her arm. As the blood slowly dripped down on the stone under her she felt her heart slowly starting to beat again, the ringing of it echoed in her ears and she whimpered slightly as she realized she was still alive.

[Goru]

She felt the cold steel running over a part of her throat, the stinging sensation as the blade made it's cut. Rhigas hand around her wrist suddenly felt very cold as the blood quickly left her, soaking her shoulder. Almost instantly the world around her got blurry, Rhigas face over her was quickly disappearing in front of her, absorbed by the twirl of colors of the world that turned into a grey nothingness. She heard someone screaming her name and she couldn't help but smiling as everything turned black and for once in a long while all the pain was gone. All she felt was calm, content, it was over.
She was happy, free, the cottonlike darkness embraced her with nothingness... For the first time in her life she felt as if gotten home. For hours, weeks, years, she just lied there. Safe. Then suddenly intense pain, she had forgotten about pain, didn't even know it existed anymore. Her forehead was on fire, it burnt, her blood started to boil, she wanted to scream but there was no sound. Her belly started to burn she felt as if her insides turned to ash and it didn't stop. It felt like an eternity had passed when the pain finally stopped. And only a moment did she feel the cottonlike darkness embrace her again before she was suddenly pulled away. She fought for her life to stay there, tried to grip to anything but there was nothing. slowly, slowly she was lifted up, worldly pain started to seep into her being and she could have cried if there was any tears where she was. She heard voices but she couldn't recognize them, she didn't even understand what they said. She tried to force her way back to the cottonlike embrace again but no matter how much she fought it let her go and she was back. She felt the pain in her body, she felt crushed as if a kodo had sat down on her.
She tried to move but nothing wanted to work, not even a finger could she lift, she wanted to open her eyes but her eyelids refused her, she tried to scream but she couldn't open her mouth. Pain, everywhere pain.
She heard voices, they seemed familiar but it was like a thick wall between the source of them and herself. She felt confused, something in the voices pulled at her but she wanted back into the darkness. Something was struggling to keep her from it and she once again tried to scream to ask what ever it was to let her go. Her efforts didn't do her any good, she felt herself getting weaker and weaker but still she fought, It felt like she was dying and all she wanted was to get back to the safe place where there was nothing. The voices got louder and louder and finally she heard them clear and the pain of knowing took her... She fell into a different kind of darkness, she felt fear and panic ride her and then she lost consciousness.