Taking shortcuts dont pay off.

[Rórir]

Just for anyone who read the last texts I made and who hasn’t been following my actions IC (which is very likely as I’m not that much of an interesting person), The main character has changed name to Khá, as has my horde alt. Thanks :DD

"Oh, late for a meeting in booty bay? Just skip the road and go trough the forest. It's safe. Trust me."
Yeah, when pigs fly.
Khá sped through the jungles of stranglethorn vale on her wolf Míra, her body closely pressed against the back of the running beast.
"Just a little bit more...." She whispered to Míra as the trees whistled by.
"AAAAAAYEEEEEE!" Shrill shrieks pierced the air as her pursuers broke out of the bushes. Her eyes widened.
"What!? They caught up again?"
She didnt have any time to look back, but she knew the jungle trolls where approaching from the heavy thumps of their cheerily colored raptors.
Gods, why couldnt just the trolls get together into one single empire instead of skittering around the continents like distressed ants? Rastakhan could really make some improvement on that subject.
An arrow zipped through the air and was just about to hit the back of her hair when a tremor went through the air and the arrow was sent skittering into the verdant undergrowth.
The transparent shape of a little raccoon appeared out of nowhere and looked at her meaningly.
"Thanks Lo'rakh" She said to the wind spirit between clenched teeth, and the raccoon disappeared with a satisfied smile.
Several more arrow sped at her, but most missed, and those who came near were deflected by the constant whirlwind the wind spirit provided her with.
"One roasted chicken for every five arrows i blcok, right?" The voice of the spirit chimed, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
Khá rolled her eyes. "Yes yes, whatever gets me out of this mess alive!"
She was so not having it today. As of yet, she owed the spirit seven roasted chickens.
Another arrow bounced off, and the Raccoon emitted a loud "DING!"
Correction, eight.
She risked turning around, and simultaneously falling off the saddle, and faced her pursuers.
"EAT DIRT!" She shouted and pointed at the ground. The ground shook and plates of stone shot out of the ground whenever a raptor set foot on the ground, instantly making the poor beasts tumble, and in seconds a dozen trolls where lying in a tangled heap atop their mounts. Khá allowed herself to grin. Score.
Suddenly Míra snarled and put all her paws in fron of her an stopped, effectively sending Khá sliding along the back of the wolf and settling on its head, like an oversized humanoid  hat.
"Wha-? MÍRA!!! We JUST gained some distance over them and now y...Oh."
They were on the verge of a hundred feet tall cliff, leading straight down into the sea.
So now she was faced with either being captured by rapid forest trolls that very likely didn’t have nice intentions, jumping, or asking Lo'rakh for more help. She pondered the situation for a while and came to the conclusion she really couldn’t afford more roasted chickens.
"Sorry, Míra" She said and smashed the ground with her fists.
An explosion any respectable goblin scientist ( respectable Goblin scientist?) would have been proud of followed, and the platform they had been standing on sailed out into the sea. Míra yelped and started barking violently until they landed into the sea with a huge splash. Khá broke the surface and inhaled deeply.
That wasn’t so bad was it?
Then she looked behind her, and her previous opinion took quite turn.
The explosion had caused lots of rubble to splash into the sea, causing a perfect slope to go down to where she was located, so now the pursuing trolls could leisurely just stroll down the hill and capture her like a stranded fish.
Great. Just great.
And of course to make matters worse, Míra paddled up on the slope and started shaking of the water, instantly filling the air with the musky scent of wet dog.
Then the wave of trolls rolled over the edge of the hill.
She screamed and spouts of water shot out fof the surface, crashing into the riders and sending them sailing up the hill, but for every troll that she sent flying, two more came over the hill. Even when Míra started snarling and biting anyine who came near, the wave pushed them back untill they where up to their ankles in the water.
Why where these things so damn determined!?
Her power reserves were rapidly depleting and she was beginning to feel really desperate.
"Spirits...?" She daid uncertainly. "Err, could you help me in any way?"
A troll got just a foot away from her face before it got blasted away, and she swallowed. "Like NOW?"
No reaction.
"I'll give you a roasted chicken!" She said, panic creeping into her voice, but nothing happened.
"Two chickens!!!!" Nothing, and the trolls beginning to swarm her from everywhere.
"FIVE GODDAMN ROASTED CHICKENS!!!!!!!!" She yelled.
And then the whole beach imploded, you know, the usual.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
Khá opened her eyes and realized she and her wolf had been blown at least threehundred feet away from her pursuers, who where now rapidly being launched out of a whirpool back onto land just from the spot where she had just been. Whatever happened in that whirpool, it made the trolls unconsious, and soon twenty little jungle trools where lying in a pile on the cliff, like a bunch of over-sized babies with tusks. How cute.
The water started bubbling and a gigantic mildly depressed looking carp the size of a bear materialized in front of her.
It motioned with it's front fins and wiggled it's moustache-tentacled excitedly.
"Gimme Chicken."
Khá hesitated. "I don't really have the chickens now bu...."
"GIMME CHICKEN!!!!!!!!"
A wave of spittle and fish-breath washed over her as the carp roared at her, and after it stopped she was dizzy with the scent.
Oh, so now her life was being determined by wheter she had the tasty fowl a gigantic fish wanted or not. Urgh.
Since the spirit probably could crush her, or then at least make her life miserable, she decided to be innovative, which was rather easy as the spirit didnt seem too bright.
"Go back into the sea." She stated. The creature looked dumbfounded and cocked it's head at her.
"Back to sea? There be only fish in sea!"
Khá put on her best smile and said. "No, good sir. That's where you are wrong! You think it's fish, but in reality, it's.."
She grabbed the spirit where she assumed it's shoulder would have been, and motioned towards the horizon as if it could make dreams come true.
"Chickenfish"
"Chickenfish?"
"Chickenfish"
The spirit suddenlty inhaled and smiled broadly. "But if all the fish be chickenfish....I can have more than five chickenfish! I can have a MILLION chickenfish!"
The spirit squirmed and gurgled in  joy, which looked rather psychedelic.
"You make my life wonderful, stranger! You get the troll blast for free, bacuse you nice and tell me about chickenfish! Bye, nice stranger!" And then the carp dissappeared in a cloud of fragrant green smoke. Fragrant as in "excuse-me-but-i'll-just-vomit-out-my-intestines" fragrant.
After a moment of silence, Khá smiled, and cocluded that she was beginning to get quite good at handling spirits.
Then she turned around, and saw the chracteristic opening to booty bay just a few hundred yards away, and her smile got even broader.
Finally.

Kha and Míra passed intobooty bay without anything more than a remark from a goblin guard that she was smelling "fishy", and ignoring the pun, she tied Míra to a pole and walked into the Salty sailor inn where her tribemates where sitting and discussing the events of the day, and for some reason a drunk goblin skinny-dipping in one of the beerbarrels was also present. One of the orcs looked up at her and smiled.
"Where you been? You look quite shaken. Anthing strange happened?"
Khá just smiled and brushed back her hair.
"Not really, no. Just remind me not to buy that beer, okay?"