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A (Crude) Orcish Drinking Song

Started by Mazguul, January 10, 2011, 02:53:41 AM

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Mazguul

After getting rather drunk Mazguul serenaded a few orcs with 'The Only Song Mazguul Knows'

Since she only sang the short version I thought I'd re-post the full one - my apologise if any offence is caused by the language.

 
The Quillboar Song

  Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
    But I have to say this as a warning to you:
    With almost all animals, you can have ball
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
   
    The spines on his back are too sharp for an orc
    They'll give you a pain in the worst place they ought
    The result I think you'll find will appal:
    The Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
    In the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
    Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall-
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    Mounting a horse can often be fun
    A huge kodo too; though he weighs half a ton
    Even a mouse, though his hole is quite small,
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.

    Ravishing a cow while she goes moo-moo
    Will be entertaining to both her and you
    Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.

    A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
    And a cat or a wolf can be more than a pet
    Even a giraffe, though it's ever so tall
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
   
    You can order or shoo 'im, or run a knife through 'im
    The one thing you cannot do is stick it to 'im.
    If you try to seduce 'im, you'll end in a fix,
    His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.

    You'll find that the Quillboar has hundreds of prickles,
    To other Quillboar those spines merely tickle,
    If buggering Quillboar is what gets you raving,
    Just remember that first of all you'll have to shave him,
   
    Else the spines on his back are so grom-damned thick
    You'll end up with naught but a perforate prick.
    Forgetting to pluck them has led to the call
    That a Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    At the end of the day, when you've had your rough way
    With all of those creatures, you'll just have to say
    "That damned prickly beastie has been my downfall!"
    For the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
There be more than four elements, there be five! Folk always ferget the element o' SURPRISE!!!

Gnash


Claws

True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Gnash

Used this song in the Ratchet tavern the other day... it made everyone flee :'(

It's that awesome!

Mazguul

xD I think I sang it on /g once... it received a mixed reception... I should use it more often. You think it would work during /wpvp things to make the opposition flee? ;)

Regardless - it's wonderful to see it being used!!! =D
There be more than four elements, there be five! Folk always ferget the element o' SURPRISE!!!