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Oh, I am so sorry Grosh. I hope your mother will make a recovery though. Sending big hugs your way.

My singing voice and vocal technique.

Passing the question on!

Hey guys. Some of you may have noticed that my activity has been pretty much nonexistant for a while. For that I am sorry. I would love to have time to dedicate to WoW and the guild, but that's not what my reality looks like. I recently came to the realization that I need to rearrange my life if I want to become a true artist and that means that WoW has to go. WoW is a huge time sink for me at the moment and since I barely have enough time to eat decent meals in a day and choosing to prioritize WoW over my own health doesn't cut it. I've been wrestling with this for a while and especially the guilt I feel when I can't be online or take part in plots and things. And feeling guilty about it doesn't exactly make me want to log in either. So now I've decided that I will be taking a break from WoW for an indefinite amount of time. I need to let the guilt go. I will still be around on skype and facebook and I'd love to stay in contact with you all, but I will not come online to play until the summer holidays at the earliest. So sorry guys.

Awww... puppies! <3 You're getting better and better Rhon. It's really great to be able to follow your journey.

Haven't listened to Disturbed in years, but this new cover that they made... I love it! It is amazing! And David Draiman's voice...<3

[Spoiler:]

In answer to ONE of the spoilerific spoilers.

Spoiler: show

Why excitment over one of Knaaks badly written characters? Never understood why people fangasm over Brioxigar. Give us more Saurfang action, that's where it's at!

PS most of Knaaks characters are badly written in one way or another. In case of complaints.

Thank you! My thoughts exactly.


...that aside though, I am really excited for Legion! Looks awesome so far!

Updated a few of mine as well. Will go through the list a bit more thoroughly at some point and update and add more.

Looks amazing Rhon. I want hair like that. xD

[stupid]

I woke with a start and clasped a hand over my mouth to stifle the shriek of complete agony that was working its way up my throat. Panicked I glanced beside me, afraid that I had startled Kozgugore awake as well, but he was sleeping soundly beside me...thank the ancestors. Every nerve in my body was tingling with pain and I curled up into a tight ball against Feraleye's side, hoping against all hope that making myself as small as possible would somehow make the pain go away. Of course that wasn't the case, but an orc can dream... My heart was beating frantically within my chest and my breathing came out shallow and rasping, as if I had been running for days without stopping...or perhaps like I had been screaming as loudly as I could for hours.

I don't know for how long I lay there, every muscle in my body pulled taut against the constant pain. Moment passed by moment and eventually I could smell the first scents of dawn on the wind. With the dawn came a sudden restlessness, an urge to run and run and run and never look back. Just... disappear. It would be so easy. Just climb down the mountain and take off. I had a wyvern now, we could fly wherever we wished and -no-one- would be able to follow our trail. But that was the easy way out, the coward's way...and wasn't that what I had worked all my life to prove? That I wasn't a coward? That I could be strong? So why couldn't I be strong enough to choose? Why did the mere thought of having to make a choice send lightning bolts of pain through my whole body, rendering me incapable of movement?

The weight of Kozgugore's arms around me was comforting and familiar and I allowed myself a moment to just admire him as he was sleeping. He'd moved in his sleep and his wolf mask had been pushed back far enough to reveal his face, something that, even for me, was a rarity to behold. Sleep had smoothed out his usual frown and lines of worry and he looked completely at peace. Innocent.
I brushed a few stray strands of hair away from his face, allowing my fingers to trail across his cheek in a gentle caress in the process. Wasn't that one of the things that pained me the most? That Feraleye was a complete innocent in this? He'd given me his heart freely, intentions pure, and while I loved him fiercely, I had only given him pain in return.

Suddenly the embrace felt almost suffocating and I struggled for a minute to break out of it without waking him. When I was free I crawled some distance away, wincing as the movement pulled at my injured foot. I sat down and hugged my knees tightly against my chest, bowing my head against the storm of emotions raging inside of me. But they weren't all mine, were they? I could feel the flavour of Srelok's emotions in there as well. By now I knew his emotions almost as well as my own and I could easily pick him apart from a crowd while being a good distance away. Right now I could feel his suffering, tightly entwined with my own, and the weight of it was slowly crushing me. A soft snarl of anger slipped out and I curled my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms hard enough to draw blood. His stupid decision to distance himself from me in an attempt to break our bond had accomplished absolutely nothing... aside from more pain...for both of us.

A memory washed over me. I tried to close my eyes against it, ward it off, but it beat against my mind mercilessly and eventually I allowed myself to be swept away for the duration of a few heartbeats.

I was back in Nagrand. Kosh'harg was in full swing, but I had no interest in pursuing that night's entertainment. My sole focus had been to make Srelok talk to me again, something he had been refusing to do lately. He was standing in front of me, grumbling, and I remembered just snapping at him the first thing that entered my mind.
"So, this is how it's going to be from now on? We're not going to talk? Not ever?"
Amazingly I had gotten a response, even if he still refused to look at me.
"We're talking now. I have no further intentions to antagonise the chieftain. He's made it clear I should stay away from you...and he's right. You and he are together, maybe not mated, but I have no right to pursue you."
At this he had finally looked up and stared right at me, keeping me locked in place with his gaze.
"I love you, Sinami. Like I never loved anything in my life. There... the truth is out..."
The words had pierced my heart and rendered me unable to breathe for a few long moments. I couldn't even speak. I didn't know what to say. But once the truth lay between us Srelok had looked away again, looking more miserable than I had ever seen him before. It was heartbreaking. He spoke again.
" And that love is what causes all our problems..."
Somehow I had found the words to speak, but they came out barely above a whisper.
"...not just yours, Srelok. Not just yours...It might have been what started it all, yes... but it's a little bit more complicated than that now."
" What do you mean...? "
I had to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before answering.
"You loving me might have sparked it all, but..."
The next words seemed to come out in a rush, and at the end of it I was breathing hard, panic surging through my body... but alongside it had also been relief. Relief to finally have the truth spoken out loud.
" ...I love you both, alright? It's not something I counted on or wished for, but there it is. The truth is out."

The rest of the conversation was hazy, but one other moment stood out with perfect clarity. I remembered staring intently at Srelok at one point, trying to commit his features to memory, when this strange urge had come upon me and pulled me forward. I hadn't been able to resist it and suddenly I had found myself cupping his face between my palms. I had leaned in very slowly, whispering "I'm sorry" before I had brushed my lips against his in the briefest of kisses. The kiss hadn't lasted for more than a few seconds and it had been feather light, but it had still sent a jolt of -something- through my body and my longing for him had increased tenfold.

I still have no idea what Srelok felt at that moment, but I do remember him holding me tightly for as long as the kiss lasted and I also remember that I didn't want him to let go. But in the end I had been the one to take a step back, to break the connection and not allow it to go any further than that.  It had been an incredibly selfish thing to do, but in that brief span of time I had been blissfully happy. All worries had melted away and there had been just us.

The lancing pain of the memory finally brought the tears to the fore and I had to use my cloak to muffle my desperate sobs. Another memory entered into my mind uninvited and I was just as helpless against it as I had been the first one. Once more I was pulled under.

A different time and dimension, but still the same place. Nagrand, with its rolling hills and rivers. Kozgugore and I were sitting together underneath the large tree... our tree. We were talking and our low voices were sometimes teasing and playful and sometimes thoughtful and serious. We were sitting close, leaned in towards one another, our bodies so close they almost brushed against each other. We didn't know each other very well then, but the tension and curiosity between us was almost physical enough to touch. We had been playing a game of questions and it had been Kozgugore's turn.
"Then my first question would be, what it is that compels you, to speak so freely to me. So unrestrained, as if we already knew one another?"
"That -is- a good question. And I can't rightly say... we may have gotten off on the wrong foot in the beginning, but despite that I feel... comfortable with sharing my thoughts with you. Which in itself is strange, since by my own rules and nature you'd be the first orc I'd try to hide my real self from, in an attempt to pass unnoticed and not give you a reason to turn me out of the tribe. But yet... here I am... doing the exact opposite."
"I hate to disappoint. But you -did- pass by noticed. -Very- noticed. If it goes against your nature so however..."
At that instant Kozgugore had moved his head just enough so that his lips brushed against my cheek as he spoke, the words just a whisper for my ears only.
"...perhaps we are simply not playing by your own rules and nature anymore."
"-Very noticed- even? And perhaps you're right and we're not playing by those rules anymore... or perhaps my nature is changing... or perhaps I just recognize something in you that pulls at me and challenges me to share my thoughts and feelings with you."
"You have gained my personal notice in you now, as well as my attention. So -perhaps- there is something that challenges me as well."
"But the question is... what is it that challenges us so? Because I'm not the only one to speak freely as if we already knew one another..."
"Some calls simply cannot be ignored. No matter how hard we might try to pull away from them. They tear at the heart. And once they have set their claws in it, they will not let go. Even if they perhaps do not make any sense."
"Do you want to pull away?"

Somehow the conversation had morphed from friendly and curious banter into something completely different, and I still didn't know how or why it had happened. It just.. did. Kozgugore had not wanted to pull away, instead he had pulled closer and whispered in my ear once again.
"Tell me what your call beckons for you to do."
"It...it beckons me to jump. To not run away. What does your call tell you to do?"
"It tells me to set my teeth in it and brace. To not let it or the opportunity it presents to me crawl away from me. And to jump along into the unknown, were that which I set my teeth into jump as well."
I remember lifting my hand and caressing his cheek very gently as I whispered my next words back to him, a challenge as well as a hope.
"So jump."

I was pulled back into reality, but the ghost of the kiss that followed that particular memory still lingered on my lips. The first kiss we'd shared. I silently cursed my mind for being weak enough to fall prey to these particular memories. They were sweet, but they were also a deadly trap. A trap I couldn't seem to get out of, no matter how hard I struggled. I was nowhere near making any sort of choice either way, but the longer I waited the more pain I would bring to both of them... all of us. It was a loop without end, it just went on and on and on...how would I ever be able to break free of it?

Life is still a bit crazy on my end... going to school 100% and working 70% and on top of that I still need to fit in food, sleep and practice... so yeah. I will be online when I have the chance, but I can't be very consistent atm. Sorry.

As I promised, some random face sketches.. Used some examples and references, just trying to get a better feel of angles, noses..and mouuuuths! And a random male troll due to male sharp features being a pain in the ass.

You're getting better and better. It's so inspiring to see. Keep it up Rhon!

[- Your favourite OotRB characters, and the people behind them!]

I have only been in OotRB for about a year now, but I don't think I've ever felt more at home in a guild during all my years in WoW. I joined the guild mostly because of Rarg. He convinced me to make an orc and helped me level it up and then introduced me to OotRB. And while he was the one who introduced me to the guild it was a few others who actually made me want to stay and make Sinami my main character from then on.

- Your favourite OotRB characters, and the people behind them!
As I mentioned above there are a few characters that have made my time with OotRB extra special and memorable, people that have made me want to stay in the guild and make it my new "online home" and those are as follows:

Rhonya: You were one of the first to approach Sinami and find out about her blindness. You also took care to include Sin right from the start, both ICly and OOCly, for which I will be forever grateful. You also helped me with Sin's personal plot and created this wonderful event for me that was so incredibly touching. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. <3

Kogra: The first real friend Sinami made in the tribe. I really like Kogra as a character, her naivitë and craziness... and her fierce protectiveness too. Fits well together with Sinami. Over the past year they've had a few interesting adventures for sure, and I hope there'll be more of them now that you've moved with us to AD! ^^

Therak: You also made me feel welcome right from the start, both ICly and OOCly. It has been fun and interesting to see the friendship between Sin and Therak bloom and become more solid and reliable. They've got each other's backs now for sure. Therak is also a wonderfully complex character, which makes the RP with you so much more fun! There are always new things to prod for and figure out.

Kozgugore: Funny how some things just end up completely different from how you imagined them to be, right? At first Koz seemed so distant and unapproachable... and so very very grumpy. But when you scratch a bit on the surface there are so many interesting things just waiting to be uncovered. And that is the thing, just like Therak Koz is wonderfully complex... yet straightforward at the same time. RPing with Koz is never boring, whether it is deep discussions, sappy fluff or heated arguments that ends with death threats, so I encourage everyone to poke and prod a bit at our dear chieftain to see what lies behind the mask of grumpy old orc. It will enrich your RP, trust me. ^^

Srelok: What would I do without the heartbreakingly sweet and tragic RP with Srelok? What would Sin do without one of her absolute best and dearest friends? As with Therak it has been so much fun watching Sin's and Srelok's relationship grow until it has become very confusing and heartbreaking for everyone involved. I love it. And as with all of the above Srelok is an amazing character to RP with. It never grows stale, there is always something new every single time which is awesome.

I could name a few others as well, but you guys are the reason why I decided to stay in OotRB and make it my new home. So thank you, for making me feel welcome and for approaching me and my socially awkward orc and dragging me into your world of craziness, dramatics (in a good way) and lots and lots of fun. You're awesome people, both IC and OOC, all of you! <3 And the guild and the people in it are absolutely amazing as well!

- Your favourite events, plots, storylines or even spontaneous encounters!
Most of the events that I remember the best are the small, personal plots I have been involved in. But to name a few:
- My first Kosh'harg, when Sin actually met the tribe for the first time and Frostfang ended up babysitting Rhonya and Therak's kids.
- When Sin was granted temporary sight by Mayabi (Nadine's troll) and Kogra took her to see the ocean.
- When Kogra and Sinami became bloodsisters.
- When Sin had recieved her first kiss ever and was completely panicked and ended up in a hilarious, but extremely awkward, conversation with Rhonya and Kogra.
- Sin's solution to her second newblood task to duel five orcs. We were in Frostfire. Snowball fights. Sadok was -furious-. Need I say more?
- Frostfang's sacrifice. Such a beautiful and moving event. One of my best RP experiences ever, since it touched me so deeply.
- The craziness that followed the loss of Frostfang. The arguments with Therak, Srelok and Koz... that ended with Sin almost killing Koz and the realization that he might very well have let her do it, had she not stopped herself in time.

- Guilds and individuals outside of OotRB with a fond place in your heart!
My original main is a night elf hunter named Lomenár. I have played her since vanilla and I have RPed her for... 8 years or so now. For the past 5 years I have been a part of Nature's Grasp, my first real "online home". I love all the people in it and while I don't play Lomenár very often anymore I still keep in touch with the guild. Some of my favourite people from Nature's Grasp are Aariam, Salirien, Elysar, Lianna, Shak, Nelani, Kaldur and Arkil.

- What OotRB meant to you over the years, and if you're no longer with us, what you're up to now!
As I mentioned above, OotRB has become my new "online home" and it has been a wonderful outlet and escape when I've gone through some rough times. It has also led me to a bunch of amazing people! Some I have already met IRL and some I really hope I will meet one day... and if you won't come to Sweden, I will have to come and invade your homes. Just so you know. *nod*

[Present day]

Present day

He was lying. I knew it. Every word he said was a lie. I would not hurt him. Could not hurt him. Not like that... never like that. And yet... I could smell the blood... see the carved up arm right in front of my eyes... someone had done that to him... but it wasn't me. It could not have been me! Pain lanced through me, both physical and emotional and I fought hard to contain the scream that threatened to break free if I let go. I could not break. Needed to stay strong. I must not break. I held onto the words, clung to them desperately. They were the only things I had left, my only lifeline in a world that didn't make sense anymore.

My skin burned everywhere my clothes and cloak touched it, and yet I still wrapped the cloak tighter around myself. The pain reminded me that at least I was real, that the pain I had endured was real. But I wasn't so sure about the world around me though... the shadows outside the tent seemed to stretch their long clawed hands after me, wanting to pull me in and drag me under again like they had so many times before. I curled up even tighter against the back wall and closed my eyes. I knew it wouldn't shut the shadows out, since they were always there, waiting, watching, ready to pounce at a moment's notice, but it was instinct, pure and simple.  I knew it was futile... I had nowhere to hide. Not anymore.

Three weeks earlier

We sat together on the riverbank in Nagrand. The soft chirping sounds of the cicadas all around us. Fireflies were buzzing in the air like tiny little stars and then he spoke. Every word he said filled me with dread and I just wanted to run away. Hide. Flee. And never ever come back. I did not understand it. Could not understand it. How could he harbour such feelings for me? Why did he look at me like that? I couldn't take it in. Couldn't answer. And I definitely couldn't reciprocate. It was too much. I couldn't give that much. And without warning I pushed him in. I pushed him into the river and held him under. I watched, panicked as he struggled against my grip, tried to break free and come up for air. But he couldn't. Eventually he stopped moving and I released him.
"Farewell, brother..."

"She is strong, isn't she? We've been giving her small doses for days now, but she is still fighting it."
"So give her a stronger dose? If she's been fighting against the smaller doses, a larger one might make her more docile... more willing to talk."
"Fair enough. I will up the dose."

He stood opposite me. Looked at me with such devotion that I felt sick. I could not stand it. I didn't deserve what he was offering me. The red sands of Durotar were all around us, as far as the eye could see... as red as the sunset, as red as blood... as red as the heart he held out to me. I stared at it for a very long time, could barely comprehend what it was I saw. But then I slowly reached out my hand towards it. I saw the hope light in his eyes, the joy he felt because I was accepting his gift. I held his heart in my hand, the most precious thing someone could give to someone else. I could feel it beating against my palm, sure and strong. I could see the love in his eyes, it burned as bright as the stars above us. I raised my other hand, holding a dagger reflecting the red sands of Durotar on its blade, and stabbed the heart with all my might.

"She is starting to give in, finally. I did not realize it would take this much to break her..."
"Keep it up... the poison will soften her mind and the visions will do the rest. She will talk soon enough."

I was running. Fast. Strong. I was not running away from something... I was hunting. My prey was just in front of me, I could smell him. The thrill of the hunt thrummed in my veins, making my blood boil. I ran faster. I could hear him pleading with me as I closed in on him, but his words meant nothing to me...nothing at all.
"Sinami, please! Come back to me, I beg you! Please, this is not you..."
My only response was a vicious snarl as I pounced on him and felled him to the ground. His pleas and cries kept on increasing, but they didn't reach my ears... nor my heart. All I could hear was the frantic beating of his heart, all I could feel was his clammy skin underneath my hands, all I could smell was his fear and sweat... and the sweet, cloying scent of his blood.
"I love you... please, do not shut me out like this. Come back to me..."
His words fell on deaf ears. They were all lies anyway... and I did not listen to liars. I killed them.

Present day

"I do not have blood on my hands... I do not have blood on my hands... I do not have blood on my hands..." my throat was dry as the sand from my nightmares. No matter how hard I tried, I could not shut the dreams out.  I opened my eyes, but the faces from my dreams continued to swim before me... their looks of utter devotion, the love they held for me, the care... I did not deserve it, I could not deserve it... their faces... it was all lies, it had to be all lies! I could not have hurt them like that... could I? Lies, all lies! Bad dreams! Oh, please... make it stop, make it end!
"I do not have blood on my hands... I do not have blood on my hands... I do not have blood on my hands..."

Wish it was BM that got the melee though, but oh well. It's a dream come true! \o/

I am very happy that I get to keep my ranged position as a BM, thank you very much.

Aww... poor Rhonya. Seems like everyone is completely miserable in Tanaan.