Messages

Said to be excepts from the transcripts in court: (source)

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:  Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ******ing me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[US Navy vs Canada]

US Navy vs Canada

This is reported to be the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a U.S. naval ship with the Canadian authorities off the coast of  Newfoundland October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North.

Canadians:
Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans:
This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians:
No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans:
THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN,THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER  MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians:
We are a lighthouse, your call.

But-but! I'm a good orc!
And I was joking... I think.

Oh well, anyway, I'll be back on this one, if I may. No sooner than tomorrow, though.
Pleeeease don't erase my account *sobs*
Though a new account and an old one can also be merged, but it's not exactly guaranteed to work flawlessly, heh.

If PMs start to work, I had to break something else!
You can still test for my account though, I guess.

What happened to latest post information?
*headscratch*

At the moment of the screenshot, it should have been the second reply in "Request for RP-PVP opponents", by Adelaide.

*sobs*

Ah, a wierd effect! As the message count remained the same, but the list of messages (which worked) was empty, though counting happily several empty pages, harr.

Also, perhaps it helps:
http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm;sa=search
which starts a search in messages, works, but when I submit criteria:
http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm;sa=search2
it doesn't work anymore (the same internal server error).
Knowing the number of messages seems to work, as the link to PMs shows the right number of total/unread messages... though I'm not fully sure whether that is stored somewhere, will check.
I'd say that anything that involves access to the messages themselves seems to upset the server. (now I wonder why I didn't save them, heh.)

Sure.
Please note also though that I just noticed I can start sending a message!
http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;u=1
works, while
http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm
doesn't.

The same, I'm afraid. Told'ya I broke them!

Same result: internal server error, when accessing http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm.

*tries again to access personal messages*
Ah well. Still "Internal server error", so at least this works.

It certainly is. I thought I broke them all!

When trying to access private messages, that is:
http://orcsoftheredblade.com/forum/index.php?action=pm
I get:

Internal Server Error

The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, root@localhost and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

(( *snickers silently*
    A surprise, I must say! I liked it though, even saved it just in case, though it's not that bad as your warning made it sound
    Thanks for the fun! ))