(( Before I even post it I am going to warn folk that this could be considered HIGHLY crude in it's topic and it's language. If the powers that be wish to get rid of it please go ahead - I will not be offended even in the slightest.... though I can understand how others might be offended by this little ditty. But it made me laugh when I spotted it ;)
I haven't put in the Campfire section as I was too worried about it *hides and waits for the flames* ))
(( An orcish drinking song from Mazguul's old tribe... and one NOT to be used in 'polite' circles... but since when have orc not been rather crude? ;) (To read it more easily just high-light it ))
Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for an orc
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they ought
The result I think you'll find will appal:
The Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
In the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall-
But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
Mounting a horse can often be fun
A huge kodo too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse, though his hole is quite small,
But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
Ravishing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a wolf can be more than a pet
Even a giraffe, though it's ever so tall
But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
You can order or shoo 'im, or run a knife through 'im
The one thing you cannot do is stick it to 'im.
If you try to seduce 'im, you'll end in a fix,
His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.
You'll find that the Quillboar has hundreds of prickles,
To other Quillboar those spines merely tickle,
If buggering Quillboar is what gets you raving,
Just remember that first of all you'll have to shave him,
Else the spines on his back are so grom-damned thick
You'll end up with naught but a perforate prick.
Forgetting to pluck them has led to the call
That a Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
At the end of the day, when you've had your rough way
With all of those creatures, you'll just have to say
"That damned prickly beastie has been my downfall!"
For the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
(( *snickers silently*
A surprise, I must say! I liked it though, even saved it just in case, though it's not that bad as your warning made it sound :)
Thanks for the fun! ))
(( You are still lurking! :)
And you're welcome for the bit of fun - adapted from the 'Hedgehog Song' from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels (thought I better say where it came from) ))