Lol.
- Welcome to Orcs of the Red Blade.
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
#32
The Campfire / Re: The Amberglade Incident
August 12, 2011, 07:48:15 PM
I like this story a lot so far. You've certainly got a way of portraying the atmosphere.
#33
Game Related / Re: new video - wPvp Stonetalon
August 09, 2011, 11:42:48 AM
What do you PvP to then? Wagner? 
#34
Event Planning / Re: Path of Conquest: Chapter II
August 08, 2011, 04:37:36 PM
The most important battle of this campaign is tonight!
See you there!
See you there!
#35
Odds & Ends / Re: Path of Conquest: Conqueror's Journal
August 06, 2011, 12:59:43 AM
Sorry for not updating this for a couple of days! Fixed now!
#36
Odds & Ends / Re: Gnash Stronghand's Guide to the Tavern
August 05, 2011, 07:15:46 PM
This is what happens when I'm condemned to awfully repetitive work.
Factories suck balls, meng. At least it hasn't deprived me of creativity!
Factories suck balls, meng. At least it hasn't deprived me of creativity!
#37
Odds & Ends / Gnash Stronghand's Guide to the Tavern
August 05, 2011, 01:03:33 AM
Published post mortem
Introduction
As an avid drinker and gambling enthusiast I cannot stress the joy the tavern can bring. As a well-known patron of the Orgrimmar drinking establishments, I've comprised a small starter's guide to the tavern. In this first issue the subjects that will be covered are Tavern Etiquette, Tavern Tricks and finally a fair warning. I hope it will inspire those that have taken an interest in drinking and hollering. Remember, orcs, we can all rise to become the star of the tavern - a mountain is only as steep as its slope!
Speaking the language
To become a member of the inner drinking circle, a full-fledged patron of Orgrimmar's fine establishments, an orc must speak the language of Orgrimmar. When entering a tavern for the first time in the city, expect to be met with hostile stares and disproving grunts. Do not flinch! These are normal greetings! Continue and sit down at the bar. You'll most likely be watching the proprietor's back at this moment.
The next step is crucial. The proprietor will ask you, facing neck, if "You want a shot of Blue Balls?". Do not acknowledge! If you do, the patrons will grab your arms, knee you in the groin and throw you in the gutter. Instead, mutter - almost inaudibly - a low 'no'.
If you pass this test, the proprietor will turn to face you and ask broad-grinned "What's the matter, never been to a tavern before?" Now - and this is key - slap your knee, slam your other fist on the counter and turn to the patrons, bellowing: "I dunno, you ever worked in one?!" and chuckle loudly.
If you have done as stated above, the patrons will laugh in your example and, accordingly, buy you a round of drinks. Congratulations, you are not accepted among the drunkards, crooks and ne'er-do-wells of Orgrimmar!
The market hustle
A trick for which the author has fallen many a time (most of which he cannot remember, but he did wake up naked dressed in a barrel on numerous occasions) is the market hustle. Scour the tavern for a patron with something of value or something you need. Approach this patron and strike up a conversation ("Mok-ra. Damn, you heard about that big Maelstrom Thrall tried to subdue? Isn't as big a hole as [enter prostitute's name here]'s snatch though!")
Now that you've become friendly with the patron, tell him you want to make a small bet. Say this - and say it word for word - "Nice [enter desired object here]. Tell you what -- if I can tell you where you got it, will you give it to me? If I guess wrong, I'll buy you a round of drinks!" whilst giving him an amical slap on the back or punch on the shoulder.
The patron agrees to the bet. Now, laugh long and obnoxiously, pointing at the object. "You got it right there, you dumb shit! Now hand it over!" Congratulations, drinker, you have just obtained the desired item!
The wine list
A saying that often leads to caved in heads is 'asking for the wine list'. A grave mistake! Orgrimmarians despise wines (not strong enough a drink) and in particular lists (reading is considered something for shamans and sissies), so combining both can only lead to harm! Requests for wine lists often lead to lynch mobs and public hangings. Do not attempt!
Introduction
As an avid drinker and gambling enthusiast I cannot stress the joy the tavern can bring. As a well-known patron of the Orgrimmar drinking establishments, I've comprised a small starter's guide to the tavern. In this first issue the subjects that will be covered are Tavern Etiquette, Tavern Tricks and finally a fair warning. I hope it will inspire those that have taken an interest in drinking and hollering. Remember, orcs, we can all rise to become the star of the tavern - a mountain is only as steep as its slope!
***
Speaking the language
To become a member of the inner drinking circle, a full-fledged patron of Orgrimmar's fine establishments, an orc must speak the language of Orgrimmar. When entering a tavern for the first time in the city, expect to be met with hostile stares and disproving grunts. Do not flinch! These are normal greetings! Continue and sit down at the bar. You'll most likely be watching the proprietor's back at this moment.
The next step is crucial. The proprietor will ask you, facing neck, if "You want a shot of Blue Balls?". Do not acknowledge! If you do, the patrons will grab your arms, knee you in the groin and throw you in the gutter. Instead, mutter - almost inaudibly - a low 'no'.
If you pass this test, the proprietor will turn to face you and ask broad-grinned "What's the matter, never been to a tavern before?" Now - and this is key - slap your knee, slam your other fist on the counter and turn to the patrons, bellowing: "I dunno, you ever worked in one?!" and chuckle loudly.
If you have done as stated above, the patrons will laugh in your example and, accordingly, buy you a round of drinks. Congratulations, you are not accepted among the drunkards, crooks and ne'er-do-wells of Orgrimmar!
***
The market hustle
A trick for which the author has fallen many a time (most of which he cannot remember, but he did wake up naked dressed in a barrel on numerous occasions) is the market hustle. Scour the tavern for a patron with something of value or something you need. Approach this patron and strike up a conversation ("Mok-ra. Damn, you heard about that big Maelstrom Thrall tried to subdue? Isn't as big a hole as [enter prostitute's name here]'s snatch though!")
Now that you've become friendly with the patron, tell him you want to make a small bet. Say this - and say it word for word - "Nice [enter desired object here]. Tell you what -- if I can tell you where you got it, will you give it to me? If I guess wrong, I'll buy you a round of drinks!" whilst giving him an amical slap on the back or punch on the shoulder.
The patron agrees to the bet. Now, laugh long and obnoxiously, pointing at the object. "You got it right there, you dumb shit! Now hand it over!" Congratulations, drinker, you have just obtained the desired item!
***
The wine list
A saying that often leads to caved in heads is 'asking for the wine list'. A grave mistake! Orgrimmarians despise wines (not strong enough a drink) and in particular lists (reading is considered something for shamans and sissies), so combining both can only lead to harm! Requests for wine lists often lead to lynch mobs and public hangings. Do not attempt!
#38
Event Planning / Re: Path of Conquest: Chapter III
August 01, 2011, 03:04:32 PM
War Scenarios
1. Showdown at Talondeep Pass
Skirmish location: Talondeep Pass
Type: campaign prologue
Alliance base: Stardust Spire
Horde base: The Fold
-----
Alliance objective: slow down the Horde forces.
Horde objective: breach the Alliance blockade (45 minute timer).
2. Timbeeerrr!
Skirmish location: Silverwind Refuge
Type: resource battle
Alliance base: Astranaar
Horde base: Silverwind Refuge
-----
Alliance objective: succesfully capture the points of interest (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: succesfully defend the points of interest (2 out of 3).
Remark: points of interest are the Skunkworks, the lumberyard and the furbolg holding pen. Members of the losing faction must un-equip their necklace at the upcoming battle (3.).
3. The taller the tree, the sweeter the peaches
Skirmish location: Raynewood Retreat
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Raynewood Tower
Horde base: Splintertree Post
-----
Alliance objective: deal a weakening blow to the Horde forces (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: deal a weakening blow to the Alliance forces (2 out of 3).
Remark: In case the Alliance wins, see 4.a. In case the Horde wins, see 4.b.
4.a Avenging the fallen
Skirmish location: Warsong Hold
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Forestsong
Horde base: Kargathia Keep
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in Ashenvale for the winning faction.
4.b Hellscream’s eyes are upon you
Skirmish location: Maestra’s Post
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Maestra's Post
Horde base: Hellscream’s Watch
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in Ashenvale for the winning faction.
1. Showdown at Talondeep Pass
Skirmish location: Talondeep Pass
Type: campaign prologue
Alliance base: Stardust Spire
Horde base: The Fold
-----
Alliance objective: slow down the Horde forces.
Horde objective: breach the Alliance blockade (45 minute timer).
2. Timbeeerrr!
Skirmish location: Silverwind Refuge
Type: resource battle
Alliance base: Astranaar
Horde base: Silverwind Refuge
-----
Alliance objective: succesfully capture the points of interest (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: succesfully defend the points of interest (2 out of 3).
Remark: points of interest are the Skunkworks, the lumberyard and the furbolg holding pen. Members of the losing faction must un-equip their necklace at the upcoming battle (3.).
3. The taller the tree, the sweeter the peaches
Skirmish location: Raynewood Retreat
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Raynewood Tower
Horde base: Splintertree Post
-----
Alliance objective: deal a weakening blow to the Horde forces (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: deal a weakening blow to the Alliance forces (2 out of 3).
Remark: In case the Alliance wins, see 4.a. In case the Horde wins, see 4.b.
4.a Avenging the fallen
Skirmish location: Warsong Hold
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Forestsong
Horde base: Kargathia Keep
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in Ashenvale for the winning faction.
Skirmish location: Maestra’s Post
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Maestra's Post
Horde base: Hellscream’s Watch
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in Ashenvale for the winning faction.
#41
The Campfire / Re: Desolation - the Path of Conquest
July 30, 2011, 12:47:38 AM
No worries, Sadok. It's an enjoyable read. And quite philosophical for those couple of paragraphs too. 
#42
Event Planning / Re: The Path of Conquest: Chapter I
July 30, 2011, 12:45:15 AM
Today we won by a nose length -- a real thrill, if you ask me! 
At any rate, we now have the upper hand in the Southern Barrens, so that's worth a cheer I'd say! Next up are the Stonetalon Mountains!
At any rate, we now have the upper hand in the Southern Barrens, so that's worth a cheer I'd say! Next up are the Stonetalon Mountains!
#43
Event Planning / Re: The Path of Conquest: Chapter I
July 28, 2011, 12:57:16 PM
The battle that counts most will be fought next Friday. Try to be there - if we lose this one, we lose the Southern Barrens.
#44
Event Planning / Re: Path of Conquest: Chapter II
July 28, 2011, 12:54:56 PM
War scenarios
1. The beat of the war drum
Skirmish location: Honor’s Stand
Type: campaign prologue
Alliance base: Honor’s Stand
Horde base: Hunter Hill
-----
Alliance objective: slow down the Horde forces.
Horde objective: free the Horde captives and advance into the Stonetalon Mountains.
2. Upgrade: steel plating
Skirmish location: The Deep Reaches
Type: resource skirmish
Alliance base: Northwatch Expedition Base Camp
Horde base: Krom’gar Fortress
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (2 out of 3).
Remark: members of the losing faction must un-equip one ring during the battle for Battlescar Valley (4.).
3. Fueling the war machine
Skirmish location: Mirkfallon Lake
Type: resource skirmish
Alliance base: Mirkfallon Post
Horde base: The Sludgewerks
-----
Alliance objective: Attack and hold the Sludgewerks (3 attempts).
Horde objective: Defend and hold the Sludgewerks.
Remark: members of the losing faction must un-equip one ring during the battle for Battlescar Valley (4.).
4. Victory or death
Skirmish location: Battlescar Valley
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Tal’darah Overlook
Horde base: Cliffwalker Post
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in the Stonetalon Mountains for the winning faction.
1. The beat of the war drum
Skirmish location: Honor’s Stand
Type: campaign prologue
Alliance base: Honor’s Stand
Horde base: Hunter Hill
-----
Alliance objective: slow down the Horde forces.
Horde objective: free the Horde captives and advance into the Stonetalon Mountains.
2. Upgrade: steel plating
Skirmish location: The Deep Reaches
Type: resource skirmish
Alliance base: Northwatch Expedition Base Camp
Horde base: Krom’gar Fortress
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (2 out of 3).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (2 out of 3).
Remark: members of the losing faction must un-equip one ring during the battle for Battlescar Valley (4.).
3. Fueling the war machine
Skirmish location: Mirkfallon Lake
Type: resource skirmish
Alliance base: Mirkfallon Post
Horde base: The Sludgewerks
-----
Alliance objective: Attack and hold the Sludgewerks (3 attempts).
Horde objective: Defend and hold the Sludgewerks.
Remark: members of the losing faction must un-equip one ring during the battle for Battlescar Valley (4.).
4. Victory or death
Skirmish location: Battlescar Valley
Type: decisive battle
Alliance base: Tal’darah Overlook
Horde base: Cliffwalker Post
-----
Alliance objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Horde objective: obliterate the opposing faction (3 out of 5).
Remark: UH in the Stonetalon Mountains for the winning faction.
