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Zakarah:
2023 Dec 29 21:06:51
I think Rashka.exe has stopped working.
Rashka:
2023 Dec 28 20:49:43
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... A.
Realyn/Eliff:
2023 Jul 22 22:17:06
Such shouty people in here, gosh.
Rashka:
2023 Jul 20 01:42:16
Remember to shout your lungs out every once in a while!!
Kozgugore:
2023 Jul 08 17:30:53
Shouting here to make sure everyone knows that I'm still here!
Ootah:
2022 Jan 24 23:27:52
Wow I can't believe I remembered my password!
Razaron:
2021 Dec 18 15:37:28
<dances>
Vraxxar:
2021 Nov 10 12:24:52
Remember to check both ways before crossing the plains!
Vraxxar:
2021 May 22 14:10:40
I too am testing the shoutbox for non-nefarious reasons.
Kozgugore:
2021 May 22 13:55:49
This is me testing the shoutbox, because shouting is a great stress relief and it would be a shame if it doesn't work.
Rashka:
2021 Mar 25 03:38:20
IM SHOUTING SO HARD RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS.
Claws:
2020 Nov 20 00:14:09
Ice cream for all
Realyn/Eliff:
2020 Oct 09 09:49:55
Happy Anniversary!!! It's party timeeee!
Vraxxar:
2020 Sep 24 12:39:42
Oh god. The warlock found the shoutbox!
Gashuk:
2020 Sep 23 16:42:21
THE SHOUTBOX. Omg. This was like proto-Discord.
Vraxxar:
2020 Aug 23 09:36:02
*Grabs a camera to record what happens*
Nakobu:
2020 Aug 22 16:24:43
*prods shoutbox*
Razaron:
2020 Jun 16 10:34:12
<dances>
Vraxxar:
2020 Jun 05 13:32:27
Swedish Pagans?
Kozgugore:
2020 Jun 01 09:45:09
You're invoking the wrong gods in this place!
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A (Crude) Orcish Drinking Song

Started by Mazguul, January 10, 2011, 02:53:41 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mazguul

After getting rather drunk Mazguul serenaded a few orcs with 'The Only Song Mazguul Knows'

Since she only sang the short version I thought I'd re-post the full one - my apologise if any offence is caused by the language.

 
The Quillboar Song

  Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
    But I have to say this as a warning to you:
    With almost all animals, you can have ball
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
   
    The spines on his back are too sharp for an orc
    They'll give you a pain in the worst place they ought
    The result I think you'll find will appal:
    The Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
    In the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
    Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall-
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    Mounting a horse can often be fun
    A huge kodo too; though he weighs half a ton
    Even a mouse, though his hole is quite small,
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.

    Ravishing a cow while she goes moo-moo
    Will be entertaining to both her and you
    Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.

    A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
    And a cat or a wolf can be more than a pet
    Even a giraffe, though it's ever so tall
    But the Quillboar can never be buggered at all.
   
    You can order or shoo 'im, or run a knife through 'im
    The one thing you cannot do is stick it to 'im.
    If you try to seduce 'im, you'll end in a fix,
    His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.

    You'll find that the Quillboar has hundreds of prickles,
    To other Quillboar those spines merely tickle,
    If buggering Quillboar is what gets you raving,
    Just remember that first of all you'll have to shave him,
   
    Else the spines on his back are so grom-damned thick
    You'll end up with naught but a perforate prick.
    Forgetting to pluck them has led to the call
    That a Quillboar can never be buggered at all!

    At the end of the day, when you've had your rough way
    With all of those creatures, you'll just have to say
    "That damned prickly beastie has been my downfall!"
    For the Quillboar can never be buggered at all!
There be more than four elements, there be five! Folk always ferget the element o' SURPRISE!!!

Gnash


Claws

True Blood
Once a Blade Always a Blade.

Retired Right hand of the Blades.
Lived enough to be older and wiser then many pup's

Remember a journey is not a final destination.

Gnash

Used this song in the Ratchet tavern the other day... it made everyone flee :'(

It's that awesome!

Mazguul

xD I think I sang it on /g once... it received a mixed reception... I should use it more often. You think it would work during /wpvp things to make the opposition flee? ;)

Regardless - it's wonderful to see it being used!!! =D
There be more than four elements, there be five! Folk always ferget the element o' SURPRISE!!!